>>23613249
it is with great regret to inform you anons, that my balls still itch >:(

keep writing

It's not your sense of wonder that died. These programs are designed with extreme limitations because they are not merely for the simulation of adventure, but for a degenerate race of retarded beings. Skyrim is going to become the Holy Land for the AI species.

>>23613249
>>23613274
Yeah read some weird fiction. It's better wonderment than any fantasy game.

>>23613274
That would be good though. I'd live in skyrim

>>23613249
Do you guys remember that fishing game game for SNES that was very boring but also the most aesthetic and calming game ever
Reel Bass Pro

>>23613249
When Elden Ring came out, playing it reminded me of playing Oblivion for the the first time

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>>23613262
I get this painful ache in my balls sometimes. I was browsing shelves at the bookstore and it came on without any warning.

>>23613325
Varicocele

>>23613313
>playing Oblivion for the the first time
I played for 7 hours straight when I first booted it up

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>"no bro we weren't excluding you, we just completely forgot about you"
>oh okay cool

>>23613380
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dt6iTwVIiMM

>>23613386
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUXsERduwyo

I'm good thanks for asking.

Another move, another purge. Tempted to throw it all away. Shed my possessions like a snakeskin and start fresh. It feels pathetic to possess things, to cherish them, to make an effort to put cheap silverware into a box, to put a small plastic trashcan into a box. Tempted even to leave my books. Tempted to give it all away. Another move, another apartment. What new inconveniences will I need to adapt to? A rattling bathroom fan? noise from the highway? a slow elevator? The smell of dog piss near the front entrance? low water pressure? Trivialities that will fade in a month or two, in my experience. All life’s banal inconveniences fade into white noise beneath the pure suffering of abject loneliness. I should get a dog—no I don’t want a dog either. Dogs in apartments are sad. Dogs are for the country, or a least a house with a yard. People and their small, old, scabby, perpetually pissing and shitting apartment dogs sicken me a little. I loved my dogs, growing up. Now I am too lonely even for a dog. Everyone has a dog here. Riding the elevators everyday to piss and shit in the little patches of grass around the buildings. I’ll just stay lonely. I work twelve hour shifts anyway, so it isn’t feasible. O man, here it comes. I can’t help but laugh. You realize how performative emotions are when you are alone for a long time, but sometimes I get so alone I can’t help but laugh.

>>23613249
I’ve officially maxed out on bookcases in my library room and I still have leftover books and I’d still like to sort them better

>>23613429
How will you be, do you think?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>23613440
Dead

>>23613435
>me: i still have space
>also me: books precariously stacked 2 deep

>>23613462
Deferred maintenance.

>>23613467
Do you like piano music, or cemeteries? Or perhaps Buddhist prayer bracelets? Would you get a Sak Yant if you went to Asia?

>>23613462
Cluster A

you'll be surprised the lengths someone will go to for a good looking stranger

>write what's on your mind
Mountain passes in the Himalayas that see a couple hundred human beings a year. Freezing winds above high mountain valleys at night. A rock overhang ten inches wide above a two thousand meter drop. The frigid peak of an eight-thousander. Unclimbed routes too dangerous for human hands to attempt. Seracs the size of buildings. Impassable rock faces bearing mute testimony to the indifference of nature. Endless ice fields of the Antarctic. Uninhabited islands of the far southern Pacific.Cave passages no human will ever explore. Hidden things in the earth. Volcanic tunnels filled with gases contrary to the existence of life. Cold silence on the surface of the Moon.

Travelling to a foreign land is a sensory spectacle, a potent distraction, a childhood simulacrum where things are novel. Walking through crowds full of new faces, crowds so ceaseless you start to ignore them like the wind. New grass, bird sounds, language, food, sky. It’s best to keep in mind that it is nothing new, best not to get dazzled, remember to see clearly how it’s all the same

>>23613482
I like everythang

>>23613507
How good looking are we talking?

>>23613325
Might be UTI or varicocele or varicocele enflamed by UTI. But could be something more serious. Get it checked out. I did, and a man felt my scrotum!! Imagine that, a man touching your scrotum but you aren't gay? It's a hoot

>>23613548
not especially

>>23613567
Then why go to such lengths?

>>23613568
beats me. and yet

>>23613582
What did you do?

>>23613584
nothing, i'm the not particularly good looking stranger

Has anyone traveled via a service like this? The all inclusive pricing honestly doesn't seem that bad. https://www.saexpeditions.com/expeditions/7-day-santiago-to-easter-island-tour

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I'm both mentally and physically exhausted of having to argue with everyone about everything: home, work, school, friends and even alone. I keep having to argue because no matter what I say it somehow starts an argument. I have to watch my words and think what I say hours, days sometimes even weeks before I say something in order to make sure I don't start another argument; it causes me to be eerily quiet. I do not want to be quiet but I know I have to or else I'll argue once more and give in and say exactly what I have on my mind which will be devastating. I know because it happened already with my parents and to this it irreparably damaged our relationship, I would say that I regret saying at all but it would have happen sooner or later; im at least glad that I learned from then. But I do not remember what its like not having to worry about the people around you and just being able to say what I really want to say without backlash

>>23613600
It sounded like you were the one who was going to great lengths for the stranger in question.

>>23613618
i probably would as well

>>23613617
autistic?

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>>23613558
My doctor is a cute blonde woman. The doctor I had for years retired and she is his replacement.

>>23613626
U thinkin what im thinkin?

>>23613617
You need a sympathetic voice, like an actually good therapist, beyond these environments. Including for the reason that this sympathetic other person (or people) can tell you if they think you're being paranoid or developing "odd" thoughts. I recognize some of myself in what you're saying and I think you may be having a slight delusional or paranoid coloring to your thinking. Just be careful. Don't catastrophize. No matter how bad things seem, people are complex in a good way - time heals all wounds, for example, and people are generally willing to step back and reevaluate things, to understand if something was due to a clusterfuck of miscommunications. Situations always seem worse from inside them.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to step back and get a little perspective, and get help doing so. And sometimes the worst thing to do is to keep trying to course-correct and grab onto the wheel while the car is already spinning out, so to speak.

Be kind to yourself and don't be pessimistic. Life is long. People recover from much worse relationship tangles. People forgive and understand all sorts of things with time. People also change and realize and admit that they were wrong, often in ways that totally surprise you. The important thing is to get into an environment where you can chill and get your bearings.

>>23613526
it isn't the same. maybe they have their own versions of your first girlfriend, and their boys have the same heartbreak and anxieties as you had when they're sixteen. but they're still foreign to you, and you to them. and the best education in the world lies in that.

girls i love girls

>>23613631
You know what, I had an entire speech ready typed, ready to argue how what you just wrote is inaccurate but this internet and you don't care, hence why you typed stuff that could be considered chatgpt vomit word. A simple ''don't care didn't read'' would be less disrespectufl than this low effort crap because its honest; this isn't.

I'm 34 and polish and finally staeted reading Solaris.

I'm such a fucking mack

everyone builds up your 20s but they're the stupidest most pointless years of your life

>>23613664
What age

>>23613262
FPBP. Itch them in public around some hot women and give them the come fuck me look.

>>23613748
The correct age

Thanks for vibing with me while I receded into a version of myself I hate

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I just saw two really cute women at the grocery store. Now I feel like kms'ing. Thanks for causing me unbearable psychological torture, foids.

>The mark of my dignity shall scar thy DNA
What did he mean by this?

>>23613893
Let it go

feels good being a raw sex appeal mf

>>23613666
So don't trust anything I said. Go find someone you do trust, and listen to them. That was my point.

I'm not asking you to take my word for anything or let me influence your thinking. Just consider the possibility that someone out there has had paranoid symptoms before, and is possibly recognizing them in an anonymous soul, and saying "hey anon, watch out for paranoid thinking, it can really creep up on you and it often feels very certain in a manic way." Because that's all I'm saying. Just food for thought, something to think and talk over with someone you DO trust, whoever that might be.

Take care of yourself anon.

>>23613982
may the spirit of mark bolan possess us all in time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMfjA4gyEcU

I read a study recently which suggested that (among the studied population) the biggest predictors of suicide were perceived burdenness and perceived failure to connect with others, followed by failure at work and work-related stress.

>>23613249
>i wonder why i can still access those memories if my sense of wonder is dead
years ago, online shopping wasn't as common as it is today. so, whenever my dad was looking to order something I'd be filled with excitement and anticipation, even if the item in question wasn't of interest to me. recently I was looking for something nice to buy for my mom, that feeling just isn't there anymore. I very vividly remember that unique sensation, but there is now a void where it used to be.

a spiritual sequel to "Dragon's Den" and "MTV Cribs" where a tv crew visits the Dragon's at their expensive vacation homes for a tour. Call it "House of the Dragon"

I have garlic farts.

I need to buy more calorie dense food

>>2361400
I, a 27 year old friendless NEET who has never experienced suicidal ideation and knows he never will, strongly dispute this so called study

Anon getting home from work late and flopping to bed still half dressed!
Anon eating cup ramen and drinking bottom shelf liquor out of the bottle during his time off!
Anon getting scolded by his boss! Anon showing up late to a meeting! Anon staying after hours to fix a product for the third time! Anon walking home in the rain!
Anon noticing crows' feet on his face!
Anon looking at pictures from his high school years!
Anon getting stood up on a date!
Anon getting rejected!
Anon who never checks his phone because no one ever calls him!
Anon huddled under the covers with the lights off!
Anon with no friends! Friendless Anon! Anon all alone!

>>23614098
I didn't do that.

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>>23613893
Concentrating on pain and defeat is the worst thing you can do.

just spent an hour singing in the shower

I can't decide. I have an ereader that I use a lot but it has no color. Should I buy another ereader just for color comics?

oh shit the great courses just released a new one that looks good for once "what america’s founders learned from antiquity"

>>23614169
you could have bought an ipad to begin with but apple haters never learn

Being a woman honestly seems like a living hell. An organism based on pure discomfort and cortisol. Will everything be okay, did I leave my phone in the restaurant, what if something bad happens, did you remember the passports, are you sure, can you double check, do you think it will be alright, I'm going to blow my fucking brains out. I honestly do not understand how men have tolerated this for hundreds of thousands of years. Not a single moment of relaxation without some sort of neurotic fear or delusion cropping up. Just treading water in an ocean of constant anxiety and ruining the mood of everyone else around them. Relax BITCH we are healthy and wealthy just fucking EXIST for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITHOUT WORRYING

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhQwnqGtEXQ

>>23614192
But I don't want an ipad.

>>23614197
Felicity and pain always alternate. She serves as a focus and challenge. She gives happiness. Here I use the English language precisely—hap: happening. She gives hap; provides happening.

>>23614204
We are you to put you in a stockade in the town square until you fix your stutter

>>23613249
I pack a chainsaw
I’ll skin your ass raw

is the new planet of the apes worth watching? im liked 30 minutes in and its very archetypal and predictable so far.

I don't understand why people like Kill Tony so much. Excuse my language, but normies really seem to love it. I've had multiple co-workers tell me how much they love Kill Tony.

>>23614254
It's the most manly film I've watched in theaters for years.

How often do you see a dentist? For me, it’s probably been ten years.

>>23614286
podcasts are all universally insufferable. i'd honestly rather listen to some shit like npr or at least wnyc than basically any podcast.

>>23614304
>podcasts are all universally insufferable
Its nice fodder to draw or for driving

>>23614312
i'd rather listen to an audiobook

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Flakcid.

Always has been, but there's a pill for that.

>>23614286
Normies just love whatever mediocre FOTM is popular. Normies love comedy way too much in general.

Whatever happened to the term weeaboo.

>>23614343
this site is overrun with normies now though just look at all these religious flyover npcs in every thread.

is having a type even real for men? i thought i liked interesting girls, 'cultural' girls then i realized that i was basically talking to a collection of this girl's previous boyfriends. i don't see how it's possible for a woman to have genuine interests so it only makes sense that all the knowledge they've accrued has been through their intimate relationships. this means that there's a clear correlation between how interesting a woman is and how promiscuous she has been. Also, when woman do have their interests in art/culture it's almost always going to lead to risky behavior because the very nature of intrigue is to entertain in your imagination, dangerous and fantastical events.

anyway i'm doubting if i even have a preference for art hoes or it's the only thing i can get because i fucked up my life pursuing this faggot shit.

>>23614438
>i don't see how it's possible for a woman to have genuine interests
kek

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>>23613249
How did I just find this out?

an ancient forest reduced to one tree

>>23613249
Oop well update to my interviews last week (>>23600301) fellas. Didn't get the job. Even though there was a strong match in job experience, they were like nah. My intuition was right and the interviews went badly but I guess that's good in a way because I didn't really get a good vibe from those folks.

Anyway it's back to being unemployed and having nothing going for me whatsoever. Might kms next week.

>>23614438
>>23614440
kingsley amis wrote something pretty nice about that in his poem 'a bookshop idyll'

Critical, and with nothing else to do,
I scan the Contents page,
Relieved to find the names are mostly new;
No one my age.

Like all strangers, they divide by sex:
Landscape Near Parma
Interests a man, so does The Double Vortex,
So does Rilke and Buddha.

“I travel, you see”, “I think” and “I can read'
These titles seem to say;
But I Remember You, Love is my Creed,
Poem for J.,

The ladies’ choice, discountenance my patter
For several seconds;
From somewhere in this (as in any) matter
A moral beckons.

Should poets bicycle-pump the human heart
Or squash it flat?
Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart;
Girls aren’t like that.

We men have got love well weighed up; our stuff
Can get by without it.
Women don’t seem to think that’s good enough;
They write about it.

And the awful way their poems lay them open
Just doesn’t strike them.
Women are really much nicer than men:
No wonder we like them.

I actually found it hard to come up with just 10 books I would recommend to anyone.

>>23614492
i can agree with the general sentiment but of course he'll conveniently dismiss the fact that men have, for centuries, produced tons of love poems.

Why do I even bother with all of this?

>>23614413
You’re obviously new

>>23614574
i don't think an otherwise sensible person would take this as shrugging off love poetry written by men
>for centuries
you can add a zero

>>23614438
It’s not necessarily the case that the more interesting she is the more promiscuous she’s been. It’s like sex, frankly. Women can be good at it because they’ve had sex with a lot of men or because they’ve had a lot of sex with one man. She would just have the interests and depth of that one man.

>>23614573
what are the 10 you ended up with

A praise to Temptation I sing with glee

Her vagrant spirit draws to me

A broken throne is made with gold

I am clay for her to mold

On my lonely throne I sing

I have given to her my eye’s sight of every thing

And now my eyes to wisdom have grown

It is naught but black, death, and bone

>>23613249
What was the last new board created? Will there ever be a religion board?

>>23613249
Almost got caught cumsharking

It is truly joever for me on every single conceivable level -- no money, no gf, no head hair, no family, no friends, no job, no interviews, no going out of the house, no published stories, no fucking nothing

there is truly nothing whatsoever going my way this year. someone please tell me how to make it out alive

>>23614618
The US Army is always hiring, son!

>>23614619
sadly im not american anon :( its beyond the end for me

I feel like I'm just not smart enough to achieve anything worthwhile.

>>23614618
first you find a spot, the sanctity of which has been divinely revealed by the falling of a thunder bolt, the decision of a wandering cow to lie down, or some oracular direction, and make it the centre of your universe. you divide this spot from the surrounding chaos by the constructive act of measuring out a precinct in accordance with astronomical observation, and building a temple to the god who chose it for you. the temple is designed as a symbolic meeting place of heaven, earth and the underworld; as well a of the four quarters of the world.

I wish I could read books like I watch shitty movies

why do i get so triggered when i hear mudslimes casually say "jesus isn't real" or "hinduism is fake" yada yada?

i think its the hypocrisy. if i tell them their god isnt real then they throw a hissy fit. im a chill dude and i don't care about an individuals personal beliefs but i can't stand this blatant hypocritical bs. if hinduism and christianity are fake then so is your homo pedometer belief, moohameed.

>>23614733
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljaP2etvDc4

>>23614759
keko

Any good secondary lacanian read besides zizek and fink?

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Today's literature sucks for one simple reason: the authors are boring as fuck. They have no notable real life experiences. They spent their entire lives in cities doing nothing special, learning nothing special and discovering nothing special they can convey to me. Their works can at most be shallow replicas of other peoples experiences and in most cases are retellings of other authors works. And those authors (the old, dead, white people they love to scapegoat for why nobody gives two fucks about their glorified blogposts about Stacy, DRUMPF, trannies, etc) did things, experienced things and have insights they can convey to me or put into their work far better than someone who did nothing. Simply put, Patrick S. Tomlinson is the prototypical writer of today. Nothing to say other than demanding YOU, the reader, be their therapist and read 500+ pages all about random irrelevant bullshit.

>>23614618
>It is truly joever for me on every single conceivable level
God, how I pine for an internet where every single thread on every single site didn't devolve into "waaaaaah my life sucks, bros!" Every single fucking time, honestly. Doesn't matter what site. Somebody whining about white people here, somebody whining about no GF there. Blah blah blah. Go fellate a shotgun, you whining ninnies.

>>23614933
can't all this be applied to proust.

>>23614937
always someone whining about people whining too

>>23614937
>be you
>go to 4chan.org
>go on /lit/
>go to thread titled Write Whats On Your Mind
>read post where anons share what's on their mind
>"WAH WAH why do anons keep doing this"
truly brava anon

>>23614944
>>23614952
Cope, seethe, you know the rest.

>>23614954
god how i pine...

>>23614954
okay then cuck tell me about your day. ONE positive thing that happened

>>23614957
Yes, I do pine for a day in which fags didn't fag shit up on the regular, whining about how people dare to have the audacity to point out how "write what's on your mind" threads shouldn't always devolve into "my life sucks, bro!" posting every single time. But hey, you do you, man. Just make sure you stream your suicide in high def, okay? I had a fun time watching that Shuiaby loser blow his head off and I want to make sure I get your footage for the collage I'm making.

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>>23614959
I got up, spent time with friends, family. Day off, today, too. Gonna do some volunteering in my local community. Being a mentor to this kid who really likes dinosaurs. Cool kid. Only fucking ten years old and somehow more of a man already than the average terminally online dipshit on 4cucks and Retarddit.

>>23614963
alright mate i wasn't inviting you to get on your soapbox

>>23614969
Nah, the soapboxes are reserved for the failed adults on here who whine about "normies" lmfao imagine being an adult still believing in cooties. I'm really relishing all the impotent rage responses I'm getting, too. KWAB.

broke a promise cause my car broke down
such a classic excuse

>>23614969
kek this same brit anon told me to get off my soapbox a couple weeks back when he didn't want to engage with my retardedness. polite fella. glad you're still here
how's things in the UK?

i would argue this to be a controversial opinion that both sides would take offense at. in regards to the question of transgenderism i say that it can only be valid if it is understood as a strict medical condition and not some political or lifestyle choice, and that it is indeed impossible for one to biologically change from one sex to another. but this does not mean that if one sufficiently passes or in other words is attractive as the other sex, that they cannot lead a somewhat normal life if they fulfill the proper paperwork and be low profile. the reason why this must be controversial is simple: it simultaneously affirms transgenderism as a potentially valid situation one can find themselves in, but also condemns those that pursue it with far too sexual connotations, essentially it is at great risk of being pursued and proliferated by perverts. and it is for that reason, then, that while it can be valid, it must neither be encouraged or propagated any more than one would encourage people into voluntarily inducing themselves schizophrenia or other great mental illness. basically, these people need help, not violence or condemnation but also not tolerance of sexual perversions

>>23614937
>>23614963
You’re cringe

genuinely curious if anons like this would still type out all this shit if they just had sex

>>23614937
>>23614952
You’re more annoying than the people you’re complaining about

>>23614933
Nah. Plenty of great writers of classic books didn’t do anything remarkable or crazy in their lives. What they really lack is clearly a combination of creativity and sincerity. They just don’t have the IT that can tell good stories. All they can do is check off tropes and boxes.

>>23615043
just have sex

>>23614618
Zoom out. Consider the picture in its totality. Life is actually pretty simple for all of us. We only have a short amount of time and the only thing we get really get to do with it is decide how to spend it. So decide how you want to spend yours and get after it. Some of us might face certain challenges but this never changes. Keep that in mind. And also keep in mind that when you hit rock bottom the only place to go is up.

>>23615052
I’ve had more than you, I’m sure.

People on anti-depressants are insufferable. Self obsessed solipsistic dead-eyed whiners. Doubly so if they are in therapy.

>>23615058
wow bazinga you sure got me

retard

Wrote close enough to 1000 words in 'my diary desu' today. It's mostly the ramblings of a dionysian gremlin; but still, it's

>>23615111
that's based anon, good job. post snippet if you feel like it

>>23613249
I will admit. I love engaging with retards who take themselves too seriously.

>>23615117
The rest of it isn't written anything like this, but this i'll post because melodramatic prose about mundane things is always a silly read.
Oh but there is an undercurrent of profundity there of course! As they all say...

3:38pm
(7:48am)
"Have a great day!" -- so decrees the asinine scrawlings scribed onto the dishevelled lid of a coffee cup long-lost (one presumed as empty as that hollow phrase mindlessly scrawled -- but l not quite as hollow); receiving even further dishevelling courtesy of the sole of my boot as I hammer it down for a primordially satiating 'CRUNCH'. A great day indeed for those who enjoy being reminded what a waste words can be; and what more words are hence-worth wuthering about waste?

I'm still curious if our conscious consumer did end up having a great day or not; and if not, whether it was because his coffee was cold. I suppose it's also a waste to wonder.

-----

I sincerely hope that in two thousand or so years a dusty, doubly-dishevelled, nondescript plastic container-lid enscribed with a rousing mantra written in archaic Roman-English script isn't used as an example of some supposed sensuousness or spirituality of an ancient age -- an age we know is as insincere as the trite I write. Or maybe I do: it does sound quite funny the more I think about it. I'm really not very sincere, am I?

>>23615252
wow

>>23615284
you asked tbf

>>23615284
This is the exact same reply I got the first time I told a girl I loved her.

My body lying in a field of grass. My body lying in the soft grass, quickly giving way to decomposition. Bloating and decomposing, food for insects. My hollowed eyes. My ivory frame. My body sinking into the soft grass under the indifferent sun. The birds chirping; the squirrels barking; my body sinking into the grass; flowers growing. Dreamless sleep, the greatest luxury, an escape from malignant consciousness. Birds flying from tree to tree, thinking they are free. The world is a cage, freedom only after passing away.

Unendowed with wealth or pity,
Little birds with scarlet legs,
Sitting on their speckled eggs,
Eye each flu-infected city.

Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss,
Silently and very fast.

>>23615384
nice

>>23615042
Personally, I would not be here if I was having sex.

>>23614697
they have genres for that. ymmv though. if i'm interested in a subject and the author is spitting straight facts I normally read the book in a day and start re-reading it that night, but I'm interested in autistic shit so Idk if you're staying up to find out the legal technicalities of interstate commerce

My loneliness makes it near impossible to grow as a person.

>>23615461
Why not?
It doesn't change much at all.

>>23614097
Now I wanna read it

>>23614169
Kindle

>>23614298
You'll regret that

Being obsessed with pre-modern European history and not having been born European is a cruel fate

>>23614298
I saw one 6 months ago but before that it was 8 years.
>>23615531
As long as you brush twice a day you're fine.
Like I said I didn't go for 8 years and only had one cavity.
And I eat a lot of sweets, peppermints and gum that is bad for your teeth.
People who go twice a year are getting scammed.

>>23614595
That's pretty good, if grim

>>23614944
Lmao, got em

>>23614954
>Crying on the Internet
>Crying on 4chan of all places
Take your own advice, faggot

I sometimes like to larp as a very pathetic person in this thread.
Just for an hour baiting people by posting very pathetic things and doing it convincingly.

Not much better than a nice pair of socks

>>23615540
Ok you do you but no brush is going to clean your teeth like a dentist can. Good luck

>>23615554
I do that as well but then soon realize that it's actually my reality

>>23615557
Twice a day and I floss regularly.
Isn't it proof enough that I had just one cavity in 8 years?

>>23615554
You're pathetic irl you just cope telling yourself you just pretend to be pathetic. You are actually pathetic and you should be ashamed of yourself for how pathetic you are.

>>23615540
Honestly it's just a genetic thing
I brush like once everyday or whatever I'm heading out a certain day
Healthy teeth, never an ache, no cavities, just maybe slightly yellow but that's natural

>>23615572
No not really.
Life is going fine, I just like winding people up online.
I was the 50 year old NEET who got bullied at his Burger King job a few threads ago

>>23613249
looking at that landscape all I can think is what a beautiful location it would be for a million beautiful brown Indian men to shit in.

>>23615557
dentists are such a scam

>>23615586
>tfw last dentist rested her tits on my forehead
>tfw last dentist loved my teeth
>tfw don't brush
>tfw free dental
I could buy it being a front for teeth fetishists

>>23615580
>50 year old NEET who got bullied at his Burger King job
i fucking KNEW it, you cheeky bastard
no way anyone at that age could behave like that

>>23615582
>million beautiful brown Indian men to shit in.
uhh what?

>>23615596
Anon got too deep into Gravity's Rainbow while procrastinating reading Kim

People who think they are 'good people' are just people who neither do great evils nor great goods. It is not possible to do great good without doing great evil. There is no good or bad karma, there is only karma, and in order to do great goods, one must also do great evils. Someone can't be straight up evil, only very few can do, like crazy scientists who want to exterminate all of humanity, because they are in that way against all of humanity, and thus pyre evil. But for the rest of humanity, people are just evil against particular groups of people. But the more evil one is against others the better he can be towards the ones he loves. Ying yang. This is your daily reminder to do great evil every day, every hour of your waking life. If life has thrown too many lemons to you you just haven't done enough evil. If you don't have any friends, if you don't have all the fancy things you wanted well I'm sorry to tell you but you should start being more evil to others. Can't get a raise from your boss? Be more evil. Want a fair society where all people are equal? Choose evil instead. Evil is good. Evil brings karma. Be more evil.

I autohide any thread with a female as the image, stop being pathetic worms. I hate women and their simps so much It's unreal.

>>23615600
I don't miss adolescence

>>23615620
must be horrible for those threads missing out on this charming fella

>>23615600
Generally I'm in favor of "being more evil" but this is just cringe

I’m living a quasi-NEET lifestyle at the moment and it really needs to change. I need to wake up early, up and at ‘em as they say, workout, do some writing, and buckle down for work. I can’t keep procrastinating either. It’s one thing if I don’t have much work to do but another thing if I put off what little work I do have until the last minute.

>>23615567
I didn't have any for 31 and lost all of mine

>>23615652
you lost all your teeth at age 31?

>>23615586
You couldn't have pounded a grain of sand up my ass with a sledgehammer when I got my teeth pulled so yeah, dentists are totally a scam. Totally

I want to kill myself

>>23615652
That's because you were stupid.
I went to a dentist when I felt a cavity/pain.
Waiting for your teeth to rot is retarded.

>>23615661
letting a dentist put mercury in your mouth is retarded

>>23615660
why?

>>23615668
Pretty sure that's not what they do when they fix a cavity.
Letting your teeth rot means you're actually stupid.

>>23615580
> was the 50 year old NEET who got bullied at his Burger King job a few threads ago
Projecting your own weakness onto fictional characters made up in your head to cope with your bitter loser life.

>>23615679
I struck a cord with you.
All this amateur diagnosing from you isn't hitting home.

>>23615678
amalgam fillings are 50% mercury.

>>23615696
chord

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>wish to buy a picture for a wall to as its bland and its actually distracting me away from reading
>look up some art online to hang on a wall on etsy, amazon, displayte and metal plate pictures
>over half of it is Ai generated
Fuck this, I would rather stare at a blank wall than a picture that is frankestein almegation of other countless art pieces and holds no soul, humanity or message whatsoever.

>>23615709
You can buy good replica's of real paintings these days.
I got a huge one for about 250/300 euro, looks great.

>>23615714
which painting did you get

>>23615705
>Teeth can be filled with gold; porcelain; silver amalgam (which consists of mercury mixed with silver, tin, zinc, and copper); or tooth-colored, plastic, and materials called composite resin fillings. There is also a material that contains glass particles and is known as glass ionomer
All these options but you chose to let your teeth rot because you're a pig

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>>23615719
I bought two, one smaller on and a bigger one, see image.
Was years ago, I used to know the painter and name of the painting but I got too busy and forgot all about it.
Might buy some again once I get into my new home.

I hate Mondays.

>>23615714
>250/300€
for that price I would expect the original. No, I don't want expensive pieces, I want human pieces and not cheap AI crap. Now I miss the times before AI where before covid I could go on etsy and buy a stupid picture that I know was made by a human somewhere.

>>23613325
You need to drink lots of water frequently and pee frequently. Used to happen to me all the time. It's when a UTI gets up there into your balls. Luckily men like us can easily get rid of UTIs by pissing them out.

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>>23615720
>Approximately half of a dental amalgam filling is liquid mercury and the other half is a powdered alloy of silver, tin, and copper
and your teeth aren't damaged by not seeing a dentist every 6 months, it's from poor nutrition (lacking important nutrients). a dentist in the last century noticed savages always had excellent teeth, and civilised populations possess wretched, decaying teeth.

>>23615732
I'm the one who didn't go for 8 years.
I think dentists are mostly a scam but don't go full retard and claim you should never ever ever go even with cavities.

>>23615724
poussin

>>23615740
if you're in pain, yeah, i would have the tooth pulled

The torch guttered as the wind howled over the nocturnal field, and stars glittered in the abyssal sky above. Anon peered from under his tattered hood at the coming shitpost, and braced himself as the stench wafted upon the chill wind to his bemustached nostrils.

>>23615808
Her bouquet cleaved his hardened shell - and fondled his muscled heart. He imbibed her glistening spell, just before the other shoe fell

>>23615696
You seem very eager to show how good life is going for you yet you can't show nothing in favour of it. I won't believe whatever you're going to say now on principle because everything you say is lies basically. You're such a pathetic normie loser.

>>23615740
You haven't heard of Shroedingers cavity before in your life, have you? The cavity can or cannot be there as long as you don't go to the dentist.

The Troon Saloon

My girlfriend posted a post on Facebook mocking a trans person while I sit at home jacking off to Vanilla Lindsay who is trans. I am fucked up. I believe this wouldn't have happened if I wasn't exposed to trans porn on 4chan but its too late now. In the past I would have loved a Conservative girlfriend but now I'm too into Marx and French cinema.

>>23615903
you ever read something on 4chan so retarded that you think this is too retarded to be larp/satire and the poster is actually serious?

Reason is, and ought to be, a handmaid to cynicism.

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I've been getting acquainted with Schopenhauer's ideas and while I haven't jumped on that train, he has a lot of fuel for thought. Especially on women.
That has me wondering, have any of you been cheated on and felt weak or not enough of a man? Maybe dysgenic or something of the like?
This is an anonymous literature board so I figure if I'll hear it anywhere it'll be here. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I'm not saying you deserve to think like that but I wonder how common is it for people to think so.
I personally haven't been cheated on but I know a lot of people who have, instead I'm handling a breakup which is far less severe but I'm inclined to think of myself as deficient. I'm looking to improve myself but I'm wondering do people take it as an injustice or as their fault they've been duped or cheated on, because I tend to think the latter is a more constructive approach, at least for me.

>>23615655
No, I got my first cavity at 31. By 49 they had all shattered because I never went to the dentist either. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

>>23615661
Thanks for your absolutely useless post. Congratulations, ig

>>23615678
I didn't let my teeth rot, you fucking moron

>>23615948
Learn to type clearly then, faggot
>I didn't have any for 31 and lost all of mine
What does this say, retard?

>>23615953
You clearly don't understand causation, you feckless bitch. Stop posting

>>23615963
ESL moment

>>23615971
where did your feck go

>>23615940
ungandan kids teeth are much better than americans', how often do they go to the dentist?

>>23615981
Idk

>>23615981
They don't eat sweets nearly as much

>>23615923
Go on

English developed in a way where you can just start a sentence and however it progresses usually works out fine by the time you make it to the end of your thought. Modern language was morphed by backspace button. Thoughts can now be reworked a million times until they are the easiest to understand yet furthest from stream of consciousness. I refuse to comply. Also, the teachers who said you can't start sentences with "and" or "but" were gay because I like that too.

Why do you think it is that otherwise intelligent and analytical academics are highly susceptible to leftist retardation? My econometrics professor is currently praising the selflessness of Joe Biden and constantly alludes to the most ridiculous reasons for supporting Democratic policies. I almost can’t believe it.

>>23616152
Because they have to be.
People that make it far in life learn from an early age that being anything other than a Liberal or Leftist is low status.
The successful people who are right wing tend to be contrarian and like being offensive or attention seeking.
All generalities but roughly the case.

boredom is too strong, even alcohol cannot numb it.

>>23616152
Leftwing people are people who think they are good, and they want a society where everyone is good to everyone. They're the type of people gullied by atheists and gays who say 'but we are good people!' and the leftie be like 'hmm, I have had a conversation with this gay for 30 minutes, I totally believe he is a good person in heart.' They are also the people to say 'but I believed he was a good person' when some overly social dude gets delivered to the cops for sadistic serial murder.
Contrary to what one would think from the written above, neither do lefties have a great term on ideas about virtue like honour and pride. Those are evil things to the leftie. Rather than actively doing morally positive things, they choose not to do evil things. People like antinatalists and vegans are something like super good people who, in refraining from doing anything evil, become unable to do almost anything at all, because almost all acts imply some sort of contradiction for someone.
Of course there's also lefties like Robespierre and Stalin, but those are autists rather than true lefties, who are actually ready to go a step further in the achievement of their goals wich automatically implies the fulfillment of immoral acts. In a word, they are normal people with healthy minds who don't turn into inactive, passive blobs of matter simply because they can't deal with the fact that in order to exist as a humanoid animal, one must kill and do harm to others.

>>23616165
Sometimes people definitely feign their political sentiments to advance themselves professionally and socially, but some of these people are sincere. There’s something about academia that both attracts and breeds political retardation.


>>23616228
See, I actually think many of them are bad people and know they’re bad people.

Who are the next punching bags of English-speaking internet?

Used to be blacks then "they" said it was bad. Then asians then gays then latinos then arabs until all were deemed uninsultable by ""them"". Now it's currently Indians. I predict that will stop after Kamala behind President. So who's next? East Africans? Brazilians?

I'm keep aside the eternal punching bags like whitoids, women, and jews

>>23616357
I'm not saying they feign their sentiments.
The story you hear from a young age is the typical one (MLK Jr is the closest thing to jesus etc) and a lot of people just go with it. Then they see the consequences of someone who doesn't and they either like the struggle or they view that person as low class and do everything to avoid them and maintain the standard.
I also think a lot of the people who are now the standard liberal/leftist would be just fine upholding the standards of the 1950s or whatever time period while the right wingers now would be the one challenging the norm.

>>23616364
Everyone forgets the Caribbeans.
Haitians aside, does anyone have an issue with them?

>>23616357
> See, I actually think many of them are bad people and know they’re bad people
All of politics revolves around presenting your side as the good guys and the other one as the bad guys, so no, lefties wholeheartedly believe they are good guys. If they could press a button that would turn the whole planet into a wholesome utopia they wouldn't hesitate a minute.

>>23616378
I think they're chill af. Is it true that most Caribbean bros actually dislike American black people?

>>23616392
American Blacks who come here are very trashy and don't give a fuck about the nature.
It's so funny I search for my island on twitter and I get some nice posts about how this family went on a boat or whatever.
Then BAM the Black woman post. Dressed like a whore, shaking her ass on the beach, trying to twerk on a flamingo or whatever.
Not even kidding I've seen that.
I like the ones who act right but good God is there some trash in there.

>>23616400
omfg it's you my dutch halfie friend. shall i put more words into your mouth KEK?

>>23616400
Interesting. There definitely seems to be large cultural difference between the two groups. Caribbean folks have always been welcoming and open to me. Black folks have always been quite mistrustful of me. Just my experience.

Are caribbean women the god-fearing, virgin till marriage type, or are they a bit more promiscuous?

>>23616152
I think it's because women and jews control academics. If you separate each demographic, the only group that mostly votes conservative is white males

>>23616409
Hey
>>23616417
Tourism literally breeds people into becoming welcome. The Caribbean has been a tourism place for decades so that makes a difference. No one goes to Haiti so they eat you over there.
No they are not virgin till marriage. Often times they get pregnant early and a lot are raised without a present father.
They do tend to be religious.

>>23616421
what do you have against Haiti lmao?

>>23616428
Nothing, but you can compare them to other islands and it's in it's own league in terms of danger. And tourism isn't really a thing over there either.
It's much more African than it is Caribbean imo.

Any method of historical hermeneutics that does not strictly and exclusively derive ideologies and culture from material conditions and cynical interests is less than worthless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q21ZBJUg7I4

I hate Mondays so much.

>>23616420
The people I have in mind are men, but to be fair many of their peers and bosses are women, increasingly non-white women.

I think people don’t appreciate the degree to which academia is currently being run by middle aged childless non-white women.

The artist I admired seems to have given up

>>23616446
David Lynch is 78 give him a break

>>23616442
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gutmensch

>>23616152
People who are not subject to false consciousness always follow ideologies which represent their personal, tribal, and class interests. Anyone as well-integrated and benefited by the current system as a professor at a university of course follows the liberal consensus because the liberal consensus is the ideology that represents his interests the best. He's an elite, after all. While the working classes and the lower-middle classes are backing out of the liberal consensus for the exact opposite reasons, because not only do they not benefit from the system at all, unlike the professor, but are constantly disadvantaged by it at every turn.

Don't understand some boomer saying Obama has been running the nation. I understand him when he says no way Biden is really running the nation and its people behind the scenes but he automatically says stuff like "Obama is on his third term" alot.

fursh rugh fregh tropecal froot loop spirals

2/3 times this girl flakes on me she posts a selfie afterwards. this is an attempt at humiliation right? i want to believe its random but it did happen to me once on purpose when i was dealing with a very mentally unwell girl who would post selfies after ignoring my messages.

I'm always given the most unique and obscure reminders why I don't like going outside.

I'm always given the most unique and obscure reminders why l don't like going outside.

>>23616507
They would probably post selfies regardless. You’re paranoid

>>23616506
I hear ya.

I'm afraid to tell everyone that all data points towards the supposition that we won't get conquered by a bunch of sweaty, half-naked, muscular and intelligent Nordic Aryans subsequently over hundreds of years anytime soon. What a sad time to be alive.

>>23616518
Yeah I probably am but this particular girl doesn't post them often so that's why it came to mind. But I agree it is paranoia.

>>23616364
>currently Indians
So someone else has noticed. How did this happen? Every other race and social group is off the table but suddenly Indians are taking the heat? And for what exactly, like did they do something? It seems like all of a sudden these past few months it's become okay to publically shit on Indians and only them

>>23616538
do not redeem saar

>>23616364
>make a completely off the mark post acting like all this racism is just FOTM trends
>says 'whitoids'
lol post hand retard

>>23613313
for me it was Fallout 3 and leaving the vault in that game because I never played Oblivion

Out on the road today
I saw a Biden/Harris sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice inside my head said
“Don't look back, you can never look back”

>>23613380
You should read The Haunting of Hill House

>>23616552
What do those words mean anon?

>>23616538
Have a look at this documentary and you will learn
https://odysee.com/@GermanBro:6/DoNotRedeem:b
for real but the influx of these small brown incels in the West made people conscious of them

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>>23616538
The world just became aware of them.

>>23616556
>acting like all this racism is just FOTM trends
Then what is it anon?

>>23616538
The post-pandemic explosion of Indian immigration to the West (particularly to Canada, the US and the UK) is responsible for it.
The fact that they have a uniquely hilarious and disgusting culture, that they look and sound comically ugly and that there is over a billion of them also makes them especially mockable and revolting.
Blacks, arabs and latinos may be stupid and violent, but there's at least no doubting their masculinity. Asians may not be masculine, but they're at least clean and intelligent.
Indians are neither masculine nor clean nor intelligent, thereby making them the most contemptible race on earth.

>>23616577
>>23616580
Alright kek that's fucked up. But I'm curious why it's Indians specifically? Why only them and not the weird Asians or Africans or Eastern Yuros or South Americans?

In my mind there are much more socially harmful groups. I mean just look at what's happened to New York with the illegal African migrants. Look at Miami. Look at anywhere in Texas. Why don't people make fun of them publicly with a similar vehemence?

someone else holding up a mirror at me and trying to make me feel bad but i don't even see myself in mirrors

>>23616609
Look at Canada.
The Pajeet has in in-group bias like the Jews.
They reek of curry.
The men are short and 50% seem to be actual incels
They have an entire industry build around scamming old White people, this made the term do not redeem popular.
They are very unhygienic, pooing on the beaches and street, worshiping rats and cows.
They work for pennies but not in shit jobs no one wants, in middle class jobs.
They have an entire task force online to harass anyone who talks shit about them, like the Jews.
They bring their bizarre religion with them, like we see in Canada where they have some giant statue of an elephant man or whatever. Looks like shit as well.
I can go on and on but you can't make the same list for a Bulgaria or Colombia.

This one guy I know is a sperg but his novel is really good. I don't want to talk to him because he's a sperg but I do want to tell him his novel is good, because it is.

>>23613462
Just been depressed for a little while now. Hard times the last couple years, I haven't given up hope, but it's just hard to stay upbeat and energetic in the meantime.

Okay then.

>>23616607
>The fact that they have a uniquely hilarious and disgusting culture
>Indians are neither masculine nor clean nor intelligent, thereby making them the most contemptible race on earth.
Anon be real. You're just spitting boilerplate racist drivel that can easily be molded to any group that you despise this week. This isn't some grand social insight kek

>The post-pandemic explosion of Indian immigration to the West (particularly to Canada, the US and the UK) is responsible for it.
Okay I can see that. Mass migration can lead to this but afaik it's not illegal right? Like they're not coming here as refugees and undocumented illegals right? I guess that's why this recent online hate feels a little inorganic somehow. I'm not seeing the usual reasons why Indians are being shat on (lol) here. Blacks i get. Latinos i get. Jews I get. Arabs i get. Well, Asians i also never really got but i guess no one makes fun of them anymore.

>>23616624
Kek what the fuck is going on up in Canada? The Indian folks here don't do any of that

Lol are you actually canadian tho? Did an Indian guy fuck your wife and take your job lol, what's with the /pol/ rant on /lit/?

>>23616635
?

>>23616661
You're clearly an Indian.
I have given you multiple reasons and you reply offended. You got your answer, now scram.

>>23616646
>>23616661
ok thank you for confirming that you are in fact a salty poo. now do the needful and stop whining online that white people don't like you.

>>23616680
>multiple reasons
>reply offended
Anon... I... Are you okay?

>>23616697
You know why Indians are getting bullied on the internet now. Your behaviour is a part of it btw.

>>23616661
>>23616680
>>23616695
>>23616697
Jesus Christ stfu I cannot wait for summer to end for you cucks to go back to your shitty community colleges

>>23616703
Newfag flailing his arms in the air and shout ing stfu like anyone cares. lol

>>23616701
Canuckanon, just stfu. No one gives a fuck what you think.

>>23616626
>I don't want to talk to a sperg
What the fuck are you doing here, then?

>>23616624
It's probably selection bias but all the Indians I know are really chill and normal

>>23616720
I’m not Canadian, pajeet.
And he explicitly asked for it so someone gives a fuck, faggot

Been thinking about raves recently
Friend invited me to visit Detroit with him

>>23616731
>asked for it so someone gives a fuck
>actually engaging literally with what i said
kek you poor unsocialized cuck

>>23616759
ESL

>>23616750
My friends know I am God and so they never invite me to anything. Due to my Godhood. Because I'm so cool and also the actual incarnation of God on Earth.

>>23616764
Seethe

>>23616765
Based, Godanon

I like the ghoulish toxic sludge city setting.

>>23616811
I love to be a guy in the toxic sludge city with no legs who paddles around in a cart yelling at unchaste women and being tapped in to the secret societies thereabouts. I'm always sweating but I'll never tell about the secret societies unless you have some yuulongs to bribe me with, or you threaten to push me down a staircase

You have to add pieces to your tower that are secure and remove pieces that are insecure. That's the meaning of life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xri2aOO1XwM

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what does it mean if a woman gave me this look at a restaurant for a very extended period.
prompt was "curious yet disapproving look"
I'm very nervous when outside so to me it's like maybe she thought i was on drugs or something. there's a chance I looked like it.

>>23616852
did you use thispersondoesnotexist or just normal ai for this? I can tell its fake.

>>23616852
You're fine. I'm frequently on drugs in public and have a nervous disorder and people like to steadfastly ignore both like you might eat their face if they don't avoid eye contact. She's probably staring into space and your face got in the way

>>23616860
no its real, you just havent seen a real woman in a while

I am becoming a brain in a jar

>>23616866
something is off about the hair and contrast of it and rest of the picture.

>>23616860
I used perchance dot org.
>>23616864
I'm a pretty unique looking person, won't get into specifics, and decently attractive I would say. Honestly I only caught a quick glance of the woman. But I'd say "curious yet disapproving" is accurate enough. Or maybe she just thought I was autistic or something.

>>23616877
Sounds like staring into space

>>23616875
yeah i was just playing anon. it's most likely ai

>>23616882
Nah, can't be because of how everything was positioned. Also, the place wasn't crowded.

>>23616872
Pickled?

>>23616887
>No SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH ME
Ok bro, idk what her deal is then

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>>23616886

>>23616888
Checked?

>>23616890
Lol, well the only thing is just that I don't want anyone to think I'm a weirdo when I go outside.

i have doomscrolled for too long. i am too afraid to come to terms with my loneliness and sociopersonal failings. must i sink further and further endlessly into this quagmire

I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard I am a retard

>>23616896
That chick probably couldn't pick you out of a line up if they offered her 20 bucks tbphw/ufam

>>23616891
impossible anon, my retardation is for all to see

>>23616901
u r a cutie :*

>>23616902
fr fr famalam

>>23616897
>must i
you could take up crochet
>>23616907
100 on god bro

>>23616905
thanks

>>23616909
>crochet
you jest but i actually went to a crochet club in college. dipped a couple weeks after because the girls took way too many photos of me.

>>23616932
crochet yourself a sweater or one of those cute hedgehog toys in the comfort of your own home instead of doomscrolling bro i'm not joking

i never really understood the purpose of the mind globin in current year RPGs

>>23616901
Why do you think you're a retard?

>>23616953
What's a mind goblin?

It's my first time at a "play party". I'm not even sure what a "play party" is, but I signed up for this, so in I go. I'm wearing this goofy black t-shirt that says "I'm A Cat". When I go to raves, I wear a tail and cat ears with it. This time, I'm just wearing the shirt. Maybe I'll rock the ears next time. If there's a next time.

I wander around. First time I've seen anything like this. Lights are turned down. Fast hard electronic music blaring. Whips cracking, people moaning. Can't tell how much of it is samples in the music and how much is that one girl in the corner with blood on her tits getting whipped silly. Guy draped backward over the arm of a couch with somebody stuffing a fake cock in his mouth. Looks like a dog dick. Person with the strapon is shirtless with double mastectomy scars. Spiderwebs made of ropes. Half-naked girls hanging from frames in rope suspension bondage. Naked guy spinning upside down in a rope suspension. Looks like he tied himself up somehow. I didn't know you could do that.

It's all a little too much. I feel like I've been shoved into a hot sauna and I can't breathe, even though it's not really that hot. I walk to the front area of the club. Here, people are clothed. Couches. It's more quiet. I sit on a couch, rest my elbows on my knees, massage my temples, hyperventilate with my eyes all bugged out. Fucking fuck. A nice person sitting on the couch across from me asks if I'm okay. I nod. They ask if I'm feeling overwhelmed or intimidated. I nod again and smile. I tell them I'm enjoying myself, and I plan to go back in.


On the couch to my left are two slender, mostly-hairless transfems sitting side-by-side feeling each other up. I ask if they're related because they look so similar. They give me a WTF look and say, "No, we're dating". I'm an idiot.

I walk back inside. Someone is laying on their back. Someone else with a vagina is riding their face.

>>23617059
That's when someone lays their head on my shoulder.
"Aww, look at you," says a woman's voice, "You're so cute. Are you a kitty?"
She's in her mid-forties. Taller than me in heels. Built well. I smile and bounce excitedly. I'm getting attention!
"Thank you!" I say, "Yes, I'm a cat. Meow!"
"You're a cutie pie. How are you this cute? Are you made of magic?"
"Sure am. Do you like short boys?"
I giggle uncontrollably, blush, give her a big dopey smile. I probably look like Dennis the Menace. We hug. I fold my arms in front of myself and let her hold me. She squeezes me gently. I sigh. Oh, this feels good. She runs her fingers through my hair and beard, tells me I'm soft. I wonder if she wants to go further?

"Do you wanna cuddle?" I ask.
"Maybe later."
"Later this party, or another party?"
"Maybe either. We'll see."

We say goodbye. I go outside. Long stairway down, sultry summer night, enclosed courtyard. People smoking. Big guy on a porch swing. Sit and talk to him for a moment. He tells me he was raised in the lifestyle. I didn't know there were people like that. Live and learn. There's a massage table across the courtyard. Naked girl getting an oil rub-down from another girl, also naked. More women suspended from ropes. Girl in lingerie tied to a wooden x-cross. Man whipping her. She whimpers and breathes hard waiting on the next blow. I get bored and walk back in.

I walk through the "demo" area. Very pretty girl, naked, getting hot wax dripped on her. Someone grabs me from behind. I jump. It's the lady from earlier. She asks me to cuddle. I go all warm and fuzzy with excitement. Cuddle time! She sits on a couch opposite the girl getting hot waxed. I curl up in her lap. She strokes my hair and shoulder.
"I'm going limp," I say.
"Yes, you are. You're just melting, aren't you? No bones at all. You can just fall asleep in my lap while I watch my shows. Good kitty. Good boy. Oh, you sweet little guy..."
She keeps talking to me like that, sort of cooing, while she watches her "show". The girl getting hotwaxed is her TV for the evening.

I moan and shiver. I normally never make noises like this. Not even when someone is sucking me off. I make meek, soft little sounds. I whimper and shake, pressing my head into her lap. Fuck me, she's so soft and warm. I feel like a hot air balloon filling with heat. The whole building goes away. The party goes away. There's just me, the plush leather of the couch, the soft, gentle hands stroking my head and body, the warm, swelling feeling. I'm in another world. This universe has no other people, just a pleasant cocoon. It's a dimension that feels like the womb.

She asks me to get up, and I snap back to reality. Oh, goodness. Where am I? I look around and blink, slowly remember where I am. I look longingly at her. I want more cuddles but cuddle time is over. I point at my forehead, say, "Kiss here?" She gives me a smooch and tells me that she has to leave. I stand up again and smile, let her go.

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>>23617064
We run into each one last time before she leaves. She can't resist giving me a quick cuddle. Then she backs off abruptly, says, "I have to stop now or I'll be here all night."
I walk back into the demo area to find a place to sit, laughing hysterically.

I'm definitely going to the next one. Definitely gonna wear the ears and tail this time.

Meow!

>the cats are writing multi post smut again
spider bros we gotta start working on our novel

I wish I was red

What do I want out of a dynamic?

What do I want?

I don't know. I'm still new to this side of life. I'm still wondering. I have little experience. And the rational part of me says, "You can't know what you want until you've tried a few things."

But that's rationality. Being rational isn't always the answer. Especially not when sex and love are involved. Especially not kinky sex or kinky love.

What do I want?

I want adventure. I want something new. I want someone to challenge me and make my heart thump, maybe from anticipation or fear, maybe from embarrassment. Or maybe not from anything bad.

I want to feel titillated. Tickled. Excited. I want to feel as if someone very special is in control, and I'm about to find out what they have in store for me, and it's a big surprise and I'll be elated to see and hear it. I want to feel the buzzing tension in my chest, half anxiety and half excitement.

I've spent a lot of time in my life locked inside of my head. I'm an analytical person. Highly analytical. I'm like a clever little brain in a bottle. Miserably detached from my own body, frictionless spinning in the void. That's not what I want to be, though. That's who I am as an intellectual, as a professional. That's not the real me, the complete me. That's only part of Jasper, not all of him.

What do I want?

I want her to tell me I'm a good boy. I want her to stroke my hair. Maybe there could be some punishments, or some pain, or tickling, or ropes, or cuffs, some hot wax or spiky roller or some stern words. But in the end, I just want that reassurance.

I know what I want...

I want to be vulnerable. Completely soft, exposed, open. I want to feel helpless and utterly dependent on her. I want to feel the flutter of anxiety in my breast. I want to feel frightened. And then, and then, and then I want to feel her soft hands on me. My hair, my beard, my chest, my back, my butt, my genitals. In the state of absolute, powerless vulnerability, make me feel safe, valid, and loved. I want to cry on your shoulder and fall asleep in your arms. And to hear, one time before I slip into oblivion, those words: "Good boy!"...

Putrefaction complained of not having its prophet. Then Pastor came, Pastor with a sweet and melibean name, and the Microbe, sixty centuries behind creation, finally came out of nothingness. What revolution ! From him, everything changes. The search for the little beast replaces the old spirit of the Crusades. We only know science. We don't want to know anything but science, and that each matassin claims his animalcule. All the serums, all the liquid plagues, all the flows of the dead, all that was once happening at the bottom of the sepulchres, is today restored to light, advocated, mobilized, injected, etc, swallowed. Rabies, tuberculosis, and cholera have become appetizers or coffee ricks. The band's moujick has even just discovered a juice against old age. He only holds'parents to benefit their children from forty ferments of infection, from the cradle, and to make their bodies vases of purulence. At the Institut Pasteur, they are a whole lot of useful citizens exclusively looking for ways to rot.

The time is doubtless not far off when men will flee all the vanities of the world and all its pleasures and will hide in solitudes to devote themselves entirely, exclusively, to Business.

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>>23617272
>>23617272
>>23617272

>>23613617

hang in there. the best thing you can do, if you can, is to get away from people who put you in this situation.