Welcome to your /green/text sanctuary.Our mission: rally the troops, get fingers typing, flood the board with greentexts.Anchor your stories here, finished or not. Seek feedback and tips on them. Want to resurrect some forgotten favorites, dig up an underrated gem, brainstorm your next big idea? Do it here. We want (You).Let's keep this cornerstone of /mlp/ culture alive!▶/mlp/ paste service:https://ponepaste.org▶Tips and links:Clever’s Tips on How to Write Short Stories: https://rentry.org/CleverShortEzn’s Guide to Writing Fanfiction: http://eznguide.neocities.org/ (Also useful for green and MLP writing in general.)Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes: https://ponepaste.org/932Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop: https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4f/Mare/con 2024 - Writing Greentext: https://pony.tube/w/p/6JD1ZDY4s7xt96uANx21sG?playlistPosition=13Horsewords and You: Characters & Motivation: [YouTube] Horsewords and You: Characters & Motivation (MareFair 2023) (embed)Horsewords & (You): Keep Your Friends Close...: https://www.youtube.com/live/mYtcqDtoTm4?si=Kud0Eyai-CWneCVz▶Generals Greentext Gallery:https://rentry.org/GreenArchivePrevious thread: >>41355731
Anchor your greentexts here! Niche generals, dying slidethreads, cool finds, latest masterpieces - all are welcome.Just give us the quick rundown. A few lines is all it takes.Want a review? Tag your post with "/ic/" in the name or comment field.
▶Greens anchored:Hearthswarming Turkeys >>41370794Jojo Green >>41415195Shota/Cheerilee green >>41417524Big Night >>41447940Flutterape with all the mane6 >>41454143JAM JAM:PKAnon: https://ponepaste.org/10315 Nebulus: https://ponepaste.org/10327 ponk: https://ponepaste.org/10326 Pony-Oh: https://ponepaste.org/10353Kazzaz: >>41436660, >>41436666, >>41436672
Greenclubs:>>41368943>Anon the Foalsitterhttps://ponepaste.org/9400 >>41379342>What's Bugging Anon E. Mouse?https://ponepaste.org/7618>>41399462>The Twi-tistic meltdownhttps://ponepaste.org/9466>>41431726>Wham Jam Shang-A-Langhttps://ponepaste.org/10315>>41441527>Old storieshttps://ponepaste.org/10326>>41451676>Strawberry Jamhttps://ponepaste.org/10353>>41468774>Yam Jamponepaste.org/10327
The new 4chan anti-spam system limits messages to 9 quoted posts, so I did my best to summarize.Also, congrats on finishing the green in the previous thread!> Momlight Sparkle https://ponepaste.org/10125
>>41536405So like write green texts and post them here? That’s the vibe?
>>41536966 The best approach is to write them for other threads or generals and link them here as well. Same goes if you find a good green; you can anchor it here. But we've also had anons who posted their greens directly in this thread, either because the relevant general is dead or there’s no better fit. We used to have greenclubs too, where we’d select a random green and discuss it. You can also ask questions or seek advice about greens here. We had a jam with good entries some weeks ago too.
Dollhouses (WIP)https://ponepaste.org/10405
>writing an update for a long green that i really care about: struggling for 700 words in a full day>writing a completely unrelated oneshot about fucking hot sauce: 1000 words in less than an houri'm going to swan dive out of my apartment window
>>41537778Fun things are fun.
>>41537543 Already writing another one? Good "work" ethic!
>>41537910I wanted to write something for the spooky season. Fingers crossed it doesn't end up another fuckinbg 30k-word novella this time.
>>41537778I’m in the same spot, I’m already writing a conquistador novella for the fun of it in another thread but completely abandoned the Anon the wise Nutella and gave up on the dirt bag maud boyfriend greentext. Which I finished and did not post here.Point is, ya do what feels good.
>>41536406Drunk pinkie x anon >>41526617
>>41538180I haven’t read it but it’s already unusual and novel. You’re starting off with a high opinion from me brother. Will review and let you know my thoughts
>>41538233>I haven't read it>it's unusual and novelWhat did he mean by this?
>>41538340Why did you delete this anon?
>>41538923After reviewing the dirtbag nutella that IS an Unbroken Loop, I felt some of the messaging was both over the top and layered in purple prose.The conscious decision to attempt to create something with a readability factor of 10 or less, made me think that perhaps I was not quite understanding the context of the platform.Combine this with the fact that I wrote this when I was drunk and didn't bother to proof read or remove overly descriptive dialogue...MADE ME WONDER IF I had simply created something cringe.But here' the link if ya really wanna take a look home skillet.I wanted to make an anti-modernity nutella with subtle hints of co-dependency as treat just for fun. But I was drunk on pumpkin cider at the time and imagining halfling coochie and how it would smell of subtle hints of earth and walnut pie.>>41521265
>>41539091If anyone actually finishes it i'd be surprised but I have on humble request.Read it in the below videos voice as this was who I was channeling. Not the actual person but the parody.Truman Capote is my level of sexism.Also Verification was not required...let that sink in.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY5PX5TK2k8
>>41538180>>41538283As promised, my honest review.While one cannot help but acknowledge your narrative's apparent novelty and unique conceptual framework, I regret to inform you that there remain aspects which, in their current form, are conspicuously half-formed—much like an unfinished sculpture, a ghostly silhouette of what could have been a masterpiece. Yes, I must concede, your exploration of consent in the rather banal and oft-overlooked liminality of a bar setting is an intriguing literary foray, but I fear that it treads perilously close to the superficial. In fact, one is almost tempted to posit that you may have drawn, albeit unintentionally, some fragmentary inspiration from Netflix’s Baby Reindeer—although, I hasten to add, without the meticulous exploration of cyberstalking's creeping unease and far more emphasis on the ephemeral nature of awkward interactions punctuated by the occasional cocktail.That said, I would humbly propose (with only the faintest smirk) that you draw from the Nabokovian well—a man who, with unparalleled literary dexterity, transformed the utterly mundane into the dazzlingly perverse. Perhaps you might channel a bit more of his capacity for creating an aesthetic superstructure wherein everything becomes far more captivating than the actual narrative itself. Your story, alas, offers the barest glimpse of this potential; it is as though you are gingerly tiptoeing around controversial themes, when a bolder, more unrelenting interrogation of these ideas would give your prose the incisive bite it so desperately craves.The pacing, while commendably brisk, stumbles into the realm of the superficial precisely because it lacks the baroque ornamentation of deeper character psychology and thematic nuance. Might I suggest, as Judith Butler or perhaps Simone de Beauvoir would advise, that you interrogate the “invisible scripts” underpinning your characters' behavior? After all, it is not enough to simply gesture at the surface-level tensions of consent, gender dynamics, or awkward barroom exchanges. You must excavate the very substratum of feminist theory and present the reader with a labyrinthine inner world—one replete with unspoken anxieties and subconscious contradictions.To that end, one could easily argue that your story would benefit immensely from more Derridean deconstruction. Rather than presenting the situation as a straightforward dilemma, why not revel in the aporias of your characters' desires and intentions? Allow them to contradict themselves, to stumble over their own philosophical impulses. This, I assure you, would lend your narrative the postmodern gravitas it currently lacks.Part 1/3
>>41539216Finally, in terms of form, I wonder if you might contemplate a more elliptical approach. Your prose, while serviceable, could ascend to greater heights with the occasional foray into Proustian digressions, or, dare I say, an homage to Woolf's stream-of-consciousness in The Waves—such techniques would allow you to unpack the murky, almost opaque interiorities of your characters with far greater finesse.While your narrative possesses a certain undeniable vitality, pulsating with the messy interactions of modern life, I cannot help but lament the glaring absence of what one might call "consequences"—a term that, here, feels woefully inadequate to the metaphysical weight it should bear. You see, the characters meander through their transgressions with all the gravitas of a leaf on the wind, blissfully unscathed, untouched by the natural fallout of their morally ambiguous choices. It is as if you have created a world bereft of karmic retribution, where actions dissipate into the ether without so much as a ripple in the cosmic pond.The dynamic of drunken consent juxtaposed against sober lust—a theme of such staggering moral complexity—remains, I fear, woefully underdeveloped. One almost yearns for the full intellectual rigor of a Michel Foucault-esque analysis of power and pleasure, interrogating the very structures of agency in moments of intoxication. And yet, the characters glide through this ethical quagmire with nary a stumble, as though the mere act of surviving the night is all that is required to absolve them.This is, of course, a grievous error, one that robs your narrative of its potential gravitas. The absence of real-world consequences makes the story feel dangerously flippant. As readers, we are denied the catharsis of watching the protagonist (or antagonist, depending on one’s perspective) suffer the social and emotional fallout of their morally murky actions. Indeed, it is not enough for your protagonist to walk away unscathed. He must be cast into the crucible of public judgment, where the town itself—a veritable Greek chorus—turns against him, lambasting him with the very same vitriol with which they once encouraged his downfall.Consider the almost allegorical possibilities here: the very town that once whispered in his ear, goading him toward his moral descent, must now rend their clothes in performative outrage, casting him out like a modern-day pariah—a leper of moral contagion. This, my dear writer, is where you can truly excavate the depths of human hypocrisy. Imagine the townsfolk, once revelers in their own debauchery, now transforming into the moral police, their judgment falling upon your protagonist like a blade through butter. For surely, in this moment, we are all culpable—complicit, even. It is not just the protagonist who stands accused; it is the town, the reader, society itself.Part 2/3
>>41539226I would argue—though this might seem heavy-handed—that your story could stand to echo the righteous fury of divine retribution itself. One need only look to the narrative of Sodom and Gomorrah, where God Himself, in His omniscient wrath, razed the cities to the ground, not simply for their sins, but for the communal silence, the refusal to stand up against the moral rot. Your story, though seemingly a mere snapshot of a drunken night, could tap into these biblical resonances, presenting the protagonist’s fall from grace as not merely his personal reckoning but as a reflection of our collective moral failing. After all, who among us is innocent, who among us did not stand idly by as the events unfolded?This, I believe, is the crux of the matter: we, the reader, become the townspeople, sitting in judgment of the protagonist while hypocritically ignoring our own culpability. We laughed, we turned the page, and yet we did not cry out in warning. Is this not why Sodom was destroyed? Is this not the eternal question of human frailty?That being said 6.5/10If I wasn't gay, 7/10
>>41538283I meant it was cool to see something funny.
I will gladly review anyone else novel and give genuine advice.Just post it or ask.But I will need liquor before I continue. Just post it home skillet.I now need to pretend to be a responsible adult and attend a meeting.
>This is, of course, a grievous error, one that robs your narrative of its potential gravitas. The absence of real-world consequences makes the story feel dangerously flippant. As readers, we are denied the catharsis of watching the protagonist (or antagonist, depending on one’s perspective) suffer the social and emotional fallout of their morally murky actionsHe only just raped Pinkie. He can't just get hit with a bolt of lightning right as he nuts.
>>41539300Ah, yes, the classic question: “What did I expect—He can't just get hit with a bolt of lightning right as he nuts?” A question which, at first glance, may seem to mock the need for consequence, but upon closer inspection, reveals a grave misunderstanding of narrative responsibility. It is not divine intervention we crave, but the slow, simmering burn of moral reckoning. After all, when you reduce such a complex act of human failure to a momentary transgression without consequences, you risk stripping the story of its weight—leaving the audience with little more than a fast-food burger from that questionable dive bar you used to frequent in your youth: introduced with great anticipation, but ultimately limp, forgettable, and utterly devoid of lasting impact.You see, the act itself is only the beginning. The real narrative is in how the town—and by extension, the reader—becomes both victim and perpetrator. Herein lies the true, unexplored dynamic: it is not just the protagonist who must face moral retribution, but every single soul complicit in the unfolding of events. The reader, too, is implicated in this narrative, forced to reckon with the fact that we, through our silent complicity, have allowed this act to transpire without protest. And yet, the story makes no move to explore this deliciously uncomfortable truth.Allow me to dig deeper into the town's role. We might compare this scenario to Albert Camus' The Plague, where the town's inaction and moral apathy are as much a part of the problem as the plague itself. Here, the town first goads the protagonist, whispering siren songs of indulgence, pushing him toward his downfall. They act as a collective moral failure, unwilling to face the consequences of their own complicity. But once the deed is done, they are miraculously transformed—wielding their newfound moral superiority like a bludgeon, casting out the protagonist as though they had no hand in his moral erosion.This transformation, which could have been a slow-burn critique of hypocrisy, is instead glossed over, treated as a mere plot mechanism when it could have been the very heart of the story. Imagine if the consequences didn’t just happen in a thunderclap of retribution, but unfolded gradually, like the creeping guilt in Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, where the act itself is not nearly as punishing as the slow decay of the human soul under the weight of its consequences. The town should not merely shrug off its complicity, nor should the protagonist simply walk away. No, the act should haunt them both—a lingering aftertaste that cannot be washed away, much like that fast food burger that, for all its promise of indulgence, leaves you queasy and regretful.Part 1/2Verification not required because i'm right.
>>41539367What the narrative misses, then, is the slow-boil effect. Think of Franz Kafka’s works, where punishment and consequence are not immediate but inevitable, a heavy fog that seeps into the very fabric of life, slowly suffocating those trapped within it. The town, once a passive observer and silent perpetrator, should have found itself ensnared in this web of consequence, much like the protagonist. The reader, too, must feel that suffocation. They should be made to question their own silence, their own complicity in the unfolding drama, perhaps even feeling the sting of judgment in the subtext: are we, as readers, any better than the townspeople, watching this tragedy unfold without lifting a finger to stop it?The story, in this sense, introduces these moral dynamics with the same carelessness as the aforementioned burger: quickly, without savor, and discarded once consumed. What it demands is not the fast food treatment, but the slow culinary art of a meal meant to be savored long after it has been consumed. Like George Orwell’s 1984, where the final betrayal reverberates in the reader’s mind long after the last page is turned, your narrative should leave the audience grappling with their own guilt. Did we, by silently reading, not also play a part in the protagonist's downfall? Were we not also guilty of standing by, watching as the town encouraged, then judged, with cold indifference?Part 2/21984 mentioned btw ;^)
>>41539300meant for >>41539226I do appreciate the review anon.
>>41539367>The town should not merely shrug off its complicityThe act JUST HAPPENED. It's not about divine retribution. How on earth is the town supposed to turn on anon or even know at this point?
>>41539406Always happy to help buddy. It was well liked honestly and it was a fun read. Keep on shinning homie the world needs writers who do it for the love of the game.The advice is meant more if you do more serious works outside of mlp.But mlp is pretty serious ;^)
>>41539448>The advice is meant more if you do more serious works outside of mlp.It comes off as wordy and condescending over a shitpost.
>>41539486You lack vision and i'll explain why in a moment.
>>41539418Ah, yes, "The act JUST HAPPENED," a statement so rooted in the immediate moment that it almost aches with a lack of foresight. One cannot help but detect a certain myopia in such a reaction—a failure to see beyond the singular tree to the grandeur of the forest, to understand that the true impact of actions, particularly those of moral significance, often unfold not in an instant but across the vast stretch of time. It is not a matter of divine retribution striking with sudden thunderbolts from the heavens (a decidedly crude interpretation of consequence), but rather the slow, creeping effects that ripple outward, like the widening circles of water after a stone has been thrown into a still pond.Indeed, history and literature alike are rich with narratives where the true weight of an action only becomes evident long after the initial deed is done. Take, for instance, Gabriel García Márquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude—a work where time stretches and spirals, where the consequences of decisions made in a single moment reverberate across generations. The town of Macondo does not collapse overnight. Rather, it is the accumulation of years, of small failures, of sins both personal and communal, that slowly strangles the town in its web of solitude and ruin. And here, too, we must ask: how could the town of Macondo know, at the precise moment of the act, the full scope of what was to come? They could not, of course, but Márquez understood that the essence of storytelling lies in revealing these consequences in their own due time, unfurling them like the layers of a slow-burning fire that consumes everything in its path.Similarly, in Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, the actions of the protagonist (or perhaps we should call him the anti-hero) do not have immediate repercussions, but rather grow in scale, feeding on their own momentum until they manifest in the destruction of societal structures themselves. At the moment that Fight Club is first formed, the world at large has no knowledge of the chaos that is brewing beneath its surface—yet over time, what begins as a simple act of rebellion spirals into a full-fledged assault on the social order. The town, if you will, does not need to turn on the protagonist at the moment of the act. The seeds of this transformation are planted, and only through the careful nurturing of narrative consequence do they blossom into their inevitable conclusion.Part 1/3
>>41539513Thus, I would humbly suggest that the true narrative power lies not in the instant shock of an act, but in its long-term ramifications. It is not enough for an act to "just happen"; it must take root, grow tendrils, and slowly, insidiously, alter the very fabric of the world in which it occurred. Your critique, I fear, is rooted in a kind of narrative presentism—an inability to comprehend the true beauty of a slow-burn consequence. The town may not know now, but it must feel the effects of this act down the line. A truly sophisticated narrative understands that the real tension lies in the delay of consequences, in the anticipation, the dread, the subtle shifts in social dynamics that take time to come to fruition.This is precisely where the story could rise to new heights of literary sophistication. The act that has just happened is not the climax, but the inception—the planting of a seed that will grow, slowly at first, almost imperceptibly, until it bursts forth, a tangled vine that ensnares the protagonist, the town, and yes, even the reader, in its grip. The town, perhaps, does not need to know in the immediate moment—but in a few pages, in a few months, in a few years, it must awaken to the reality of what has transpired. Like Márquez's Macondo or Palahniuk’s crumbling social order, the town must come to recognize that its very soul has been irrevocably altered by the events now set in motion.This, I think, is where the missed opportunity lies. By allowing the act to exist in isolation, without the slow, simmering consequences that follow, you risk flattening your narrative. The town should be a character unto itself, its moral compass shifting as the act's consequences unravel. The protagonist, too, should not be immune to the creeping dread of their choices, slowly realizing that what seemed like a singular moment of transgression is, in fact, a pebble that has triggered an avalanche. The brilliance of such a narrative lies in its ability to make the reader complicit in this unfolding—forcing us, too, to question our initial silence and to feel the weight of the moral consequences that follow, even if they take time to come.Part 3/3 - cause I lied but you won't notice you don't notice these things ;^)
>>41539502Anon I get it. I ain't laughing but I get it.
>>41539530;^)
>>41539530I don’t know I think he has a point.
>>41539530There’s actual advice in there….
>>41539248i like your funny words, drunkman. i'll bite, if you don't mind something incomplete and on the longer sidehttps://ponepaste.org/10008rip me apart, especially the newer updates
>>41539566I will review this and get back to you
>>41539525> The town may not know now, but it must feel the effects of this act down the line.Of a blowjob? Lmao how!
>>41539627Time makes fools of us all my dear friend.
>>41539564NTA but it reads like chatGPT copypasta. Especially coupled with unrelated avatarfagging pics.
>>41539633Sounds like you’re coping
>>41539733>>41539633Wrecked
>>41539633 It is. You can also tell by the use of fancy quotes instead of regular ones.
>>41539566I’m not done reading it. I’m on like line 100 of 727It’s going to take time.
>>41540054Exposed.
>>41540581>Posts are getting deleted nowWhat the fucking is going on. Is this schizo shit or what?
>>41540792I don’t know but it’s a surprisingly fun thread now. I hope drunkman keeps his promise and doesn’t die of liver poisoning
>>41541249Not a fan of GPT copy/paste myself.
>>41541252To each their own, but it’s funny to watch autismos get mad over mundane shit like that.
>>41541261 I only saw the guy himself getting mad when he was found out and deleting his own posts.
>>41541270I know I love him. He’s funny. We should keep him as a pet
How often do you read your own greens? It's not weird to do so, right?
>>41541985I fucking hate them and I feel like reading them is akin to huffing my own farts. Though remembering their contents does help while fantasizing.
>>41541985Quite often. It helps with proofreading and editing to make the story even better. No it's not weird.
>>41541985From time to time. Studying your own work is a good way to improve.
>>41541985I always reread my own work. With each reading I become more aware of its faults and internalise them for the next time I write something.
>>41539530Good advice. Stop being blind.
>>41542534Nigga he posted random shit from chat gpt then deleted his posts when someone noticed. Here's your (you)
>>41541985i do and i think its unhealthy for me personally every time afterits like im echoing words ive already said, like im remembering them with a photographic memoryif i just wrote these for fun and didnt post them at all i think i would more likely than not go completely buttfuck insane
Bump
>>41542668Thanks! I always get a boner from getting (you)s.
>>41543886
>>41536405Cute Luna
Just wanted to say that I will fullfill my promise>>41528330
>sitting here looking at your overly long green >youre never satisfied enough with how it reads to call it done and post it anywhere>its so long that you may well have written something to post on fimfic instead>but you know youre not wordy and creative enought to write something like that>you wonder how other people release their greens in parts while continuing to write them >you know you could never do that >when was the last time you posted anything you were proud of?>something that you took time on and enjoyed writing >you dont even write for the motivation of yous anymore do you?>a handfull of replies from people that took the couple minutes out of their day to read your ramblings >when did their time stop being enough?>and every time you want to write you never feel like writing >always have to be in the right mindset>but when you are you only ever write one or two lines>if not for the yous than why do you keep trying?
>>41546635I think you just have depression.
>>41546635>Call myself a writer>Don't writeSurely this is how the greats did it
baump
I've been getting ideas for stories and decided to pursue on of them. This was a few months ago and I've barely written anything for it. Haven't even written the first page; just notes and crap. Then I thought, "What if I just write it as a green and edit it later?". And that's what I started doing today. And boy is it liberating! No pressure to create something amazing and instead I'm just writing whatever comes to mind. I wish I'd done this sooner.
>>41548194Can confirm, sometimes it's easier to write a separated part of the green as it comes to mind and then incorporate it into everything else.
>>41548621
bookbump
>>41541989What the hell are you writing to make you feel that way, some niche fetish fuel? I hope you at least get paid for it.
Been away for a bit. I wrote up some short green club reviews for the ones I missed attending.>>41399462I don’t read a lot of kinderquestria greens, but the idea of all the ponies in Ponyville basically having one big larp full of playfighting is a fun idea. I’ve read greens with somewhat similar premises that I’ve enjoyed. However, the narrator tells us five lines into this green that this will not be the story that we’re getting. For you see, Twilight has the ‘tism, and she likes it when things are consistent. But Anon just loves to mess with Twilight’s ‘tism, and he has a plan to do just that during this town-wide larp.And he does mess with Twilight, by making video game references. Most of which flew over my head the first time I read this green. I had no idea Dark Snowpity was supposed to be a Dark Souls parody. I’ve never played Team Fortress 2, so I didn’t understand any of Anon’s references that he was making there. Twilight’s freak outs were funny regardless, but they always would have been. She’s a fun character to see stressed out, and it makes her the highlight of the green, as it should be for a tale that has both ‘meltdown’ and ‘tistic’ in the title. (The chocolate milk bit made me laugh hard.)One thing that triggered my own ‘tism is the writer’s inconsistency here:>inconsistancy>and there’s nothing more inconsistent to her than crossoversUnless the joke is on me here, then it’s clear this green was written fast, maybe proofread only once or twice before being posted. Greentext has always been great for getting a little idea out quickly like that, but that shouldn’t excuse any instances of sloppy writing that can still be found.Lines like these are the reason Show Don’t Tell exists as a writing rule:>anon and twilight roam around town waiting to surprise attack any nearby contenders>’fights’ sprawl around town consisting of imaginary weapons and lots of vocal sound effects>twilight unenthusiastically leads anon towards pinkie pie>currently she is having an absolute BLAST>swinging her big, uh, i’m not sure maybe it’s like a really big sword, I can’t read her mind honestly>but basically she’s fighting off derpy and fluttershy>the only reason she hasn’t flat out won yet is because derpy doesn’t understand the rules and never back down and fluttershy is way to cautious to tryThis writing here doesn’t exactly spring clear, vivid pictures to mind as you read it, but we get the gist of what’s going on. It’s fun seeing how Pinkie, Derpy and Fluttershy would play together in a situation like this. Not that we do see how they play together, we’re told about it. But again, we get the gist. The ideas are there.I think that sums up my feelings towards this green. Twilight is funny in it, but the writing is serviceable at best, and at worst it hinders my enjoyment of seeing Twilight’s ‘tism reach critical mass by the end.
>>41431726I don’t have many new thoughts after rereading this one. I originally quibbled with the length of the beginning, but I enjoyed it a bit more now, cause I knew what was going on with the jam from the start this time. The jam ends up getting Anon into a jam. Him being super horny in the middle of a meeting with the princesses is a funny idea, but it’s too bad that he doesn’t interact with any of them much. I wish we’d gotten some more shenanigans there. As it is, Rarity touches him once and he runs out of the room, then AJ and Luna each have a funny line and it’s over. In contrast, the best part of the green is probably the letter from Dash. It’s great seeing her trying not to be too mushy as she writes about their friendship, only to have it all end with a prank. Classic Rainbro. Leaves you wanting more.I’m curious to know if you were at mare fair, PKAnon. I could have sworn I heard someone say your name at Ficwhores Anonymous.>>41441527I don’t know about everyone else, but I read this one twice. I was invested enough in Twilight’s dilemma and Pinkie’s weird behavior that I wanted to try and figure out what was going on. But this green doesn’t provide any concrete answers as to what happened as much as it effectively creates an atmosphere of hopelessness and dread that something did indeed happen. Something that’s too late to ever be fixed. The beginning reads differently after you’ve finished going through it once, that’s for sure; and the green is structured to be that way, like a loop. (There are two double line breaks in this green, and they occur near the beginning and the end respectively; they are lines seven and eight, and lines 195 and 196.)Here’s that beginning:>Someone once told you that dreams are messages.>That you’d do well to pay attention to them.>So, what does that mean for you then?>Maybe that there's nothing left.>Maybe that it’s way too late to matter anymore.>Your name is Twilight Sparkle and you haven’t remembered your dreams in a long, long time.As for the ending, my theory is that the pony behind the door is Twilight herself, ready to start the loop all over after Pinkie has killed her again. It’s never clear what Pinkie is, except that she’s clearly no longer herself. She has golden eyes, sharp teeth, and black ooze drips out of her. The best part of this green is that, despite clearly being off, she still somewhat acts like the Pinkie Pie we know–which only makes it doubly unsettling that something clearly has happened to her.Horror stories with ponies in 'em isn’t my cup of tea, but this one had some good stuff in it.I will say though, I have no idea why the title of this one is Old stories.
>>41468774Really enjoyed this one. Jan and Pam make quite the odd couple as they’re forced to hoof it together to the conference in castletown. They only have two things in common, they’re both chefs and neither one can fly. Of course both of those things mean a lot more to Jan than they do to Pam, but that’s okay. Pam is a simple pony, slightly thoughtless. She wants to make an easy living, and maybe put some of the snobs that are at the conference in their place in the process. Besides that though, she doesn’t seem to care about much, except for maybe her Gaz, and Jan. Even though he was rude to her on their first meeting, she still insists that he call her Pam (All her friends do, duck.) He never does, but by the end of the green she’s got a new nickname for him: Janny.The writing here is wonderful, sparse yet detailed, and the narrative does well to reflect certain thoughts Jan would have had, having grown up in Equestria. Comparing Pam’s immature giggling to two chicks telling a joke to each other in a school roost is a detail that rings true for a griffon like Jan. The language here creates an authentic Equestria in my mind, one that’s lived in. I’m particularly a fan of Pam’s low English vernacular, which I don’t often see in greens unless I’m reading some Chavtavia. (Her referring to their profession as ‘chefery’ was a highlight for me.)I was slightly disappointed that Jan and Pam never reached the conference, but the last line of this green is a hodgepodge of rhyming words that ends with the perfect one being left unwritten at the end. But you know what it is anyway. It might be the jammiest sentence in the entire jam.I’ve yammered about it enough though. Great green. Definitely check it out.>>41451676Strawberry Jam is about Applejack catching Anon having a picnic. Without an apple anywhere in sight.Corrective action must be taken to right such wrongs.This was my favorite green in the jam. It’s mainly a back and forth between AJ and Anon, who just wants to eat in peace. The snappy pace and fun dialogue, combined with the green leaning heavily into AJ's stubborn side, was making me laugh throughout this one. Anon even makes the mistake of lying to her when she’s like this. I think a lot of people forget that Applejack is a silly pony. When she gets it in her head that things should be a certain way, then by Celestia that is how they are gonna be. And you can’t have a picnic without apples. Very cool green. Fun to see Anon dig himself further and further into this apple hole.Wouldn’t have minded if Pony-Oh had gone into a little more detail when AJ gave Anon that taste test though.stupid sexy AJ
>>41436660This was cute as hell. Pinkie was sweet and funny without being too hyper. That's refreshing to read in itself, but what's better is that it's also consistent with her being a huge fucking preganant-ass pony (who else but Kassaz?) that can't do all of her usual hops, skips and jumps. It was very cozy, and I can honestly say I felt like I was in that kitchen, hearing Pinkie snore and watching that cake slowly shrink in her tummy. This is my favorite thing I’ve read of yours so far.besides the crotch sniffing storyfucking finish that one already, dammit
>>41551327Nice! Thanks for your work, anon. Really loved reading all of your reviews!
>>41551442besides the crotch sniffing storyYeah. Liked this one too.
>>41550769I write maredom. That's a job with the same pay as a moderator on 4chan, because I don't want to make it unavailable for anyone that's into it.
Would you read a short green in this style?>Canterlot Castle>A room forgotten by light>Luna stood before the canvas>It wasn’t just paint>It was more than brushstrokes>It was her sister>The sun was there>But there were shadows too>A thousand dawns, a thousand dusks>In her eyes>Equestria rested on her shoulders>Luna could feel it now>Celestia was bright>But that brightness had a price>They whispered that the portrait held her soul>Few had seen it>Luna never had>Not in a thousand years>It must have been painted then>A younger Celestia>Yet somehow older
>>41552537I enjoy poems.
>>41552537I too enjoy poems.
>>41552582>>41553240It's not a poem?
Do you guys ever find yourselves writing a scene only to end up not using it?"Uh, Discord? I think your spell is spiraling out of control. Meanlight is going totally MOMMY crazy!" You exclaim in a panic.>The furry faggot just sits there on your bed, trying and failing to contain his laughter."For Celestia's sake, she actually tucked me in and read me a bedtime story last night!">"Dohohohoho! Anon, you silly colt!" Discord wipes a tear from his eye and playfully pats you on the head from afar with his detached lion paw. >"My spell wore off AGES ago. I thought you knew that!">Your eyes widen to comically large proportions at this shocking revelation."Y-You're lying! There's no bucking way that Meanlight is......is...">"Search your feelings, young one. You know it to be true." The chimera replies sternly from beneath a black cloak.>Discord's words worm their way into your mind and begin to uproot everything you thought you knew about Meanlight.>You slump to the floor and stare at the wall with your mouth hanging open in complete discombobulation.>All this time, Meanlight was treating you so kindly of her own free will?! There was no magic to manipulate her? No chaos to coerce her?!>Her love was one-hundred percent genuine, but you rebuffed her so coldly like some kind of twisted sociopath.>You foolishly brushed it off as nothing more than the byproduct of a draconequus' sadistic spell.>*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*>"Helloooooo! Earth to Anon! Come in Anon, we're losing you!" Discord calls out to you while knocking on the side of your head."H-Huh? Wha-?">You turn to see Discord floating next to you dressed in an astronaut suit.
Self-shilling time? Self-shilling time.New cloppasloppa just dropped, so you could die out of cringe trying to read the sex scenes. Totally shameless, written for people who just want some flutterpussy on their dick. Quite the opposite of a high prose, the most low-brow coomshit you could find.https://ponepaste.org/10413I fucked up the upload super badly by forgetting to log in. I'm so retarded, holy shit. So fucking embarrassing. I wonder how quick on the uptake the mods would be, they will probably nuke the non-guest version because I deserve it for being a retarded niggerfaggot.Hopefully I made it appear less repetitive ha-ha, wrote two quite similiar sex scenes in a row by using more synonyms, more various synonyms, though I think I'm still bad in that department. Grammar may still be really awful as well.Hey, Anon from above, do you really think this garbage is worth being locked behind a paywall?Anyways, feel free to fap or shit at it.
>>41553835ill give it a read and see if its clopworthyget back to ya
>>41553835the subject matter is not to my taste personally but i can say its not as bad as youre making it soundi have read far far worse from people with far more egobut like i said, not my thing but if i had that fetish i would probably love it
This thread made me figure out the login for my old pastebin account. I'm surprised it hadn't been deleted. I thought I had something long form I could post, but it looks like all I use to write were short shitpost greentext.
>>41554766Nothing wrong with writing short greens. One or two-post long shitposts are an essential greentext form factor.
>>41554766Post your green, my shitposting nigga>>41541985I'll read one or two between seasons. The old bin is still there and all, so I might as well. I usually cringe out of them pretty quickly though. Some of them I can't get any further than a line or two, or I just don't want to. Some of them I read a lot of. I almost always find mistakes in them that I didn't catch before the green got posted. I make corrections if I can, then I tell myself "So that was why they didn't like it."If I find that the green is complete irredeemable shit, then just I add rape to it so it'll be good. Keeps me busy these days.>>41553791Yeah, and I've come to accept it as a good thing. The second idea is usually better.Why is Discord an astronaut?
>>41555552https://ponepaste.org/10414Copied them from all from different pastes and uploaded them to ponepaste. It's mostly one off shitposts for all the random bait threads that used to pop up.
>>41551442Thank you for your thoughts. The /pnk/ threads told me my emphasis on her movement was refreshing to read, since most people seem to turn her into a joke factory and ignore other ways she interacts with the world, so I always try to keep that in mind when writing her now. Better a foal factory than a joke factory anyway.>This is my favorite thing I’ve read of yours so far.I'm surprised, but very glad you liked it that much. I'll try to keep it up.fucking finish that one already, dammitYeah, I know. I remember it every few weeks and think "huh, I need to write that next chapter already." I'll definitely let you guys know when I write the next chapter. I'm sorry for taking so long. I lost steam when the threads died and didn't come back.
>>41555552>Why is Discord an astronaut?You ever start spacing out and someone says "hellooo anon? earth to anon, do you read me?" Same shtick.
>>41555705Some of them made me laugh, Good shit.
>>41555705They're alright man, I appreciate these kind of short ideas.
>>41556865>>41556893Thanks.I'm going through all my old pastes and uploading what I can to pone paste. I just noticed most of them are from 2014. Fuck I've been here too long.
Should I bring the greenclub back on Monday? I know we did a club for each of the greens from the JAM, but do you also want to vote on them?
>>41557840How many greens were finished after the deadline, only one?
Why am I writing green at 5 am...
>>41558887because you are smart and based.
>>41559646And very sleepy now.
>>41560317Sleep then.
PONEPASTE IS KILL
>>41561230Floorb will have forgotten to pay the bill.Again.
>>41561230Again?
>>41561230Pedos?
>>41561230WAKE HIS ASS UP
does anybody remember the narcoleptic guy? I remember liking his greens, but I don't remember all the details. do any of y'all got his greens?
>It's another beautiful rainy day in Manehattan.>The city streets, once alive with the hustle and bustle of busy ponies, lie mostly empty as the falling rainwater drenches everything it touches.>No sane pony would be out and about in this deplorable weather. (Un)fortunately, you are not a sane pony.>You are Tack, a short-tempered earth pony stallion that somehow managed to land a job as a cobbler's apprentice.>Celestia only knows where he gets his limitless supply of patience to put up with your shenangians.>The boss even let you leave early because of the weather!>Life ain't exactly easy in this neck of the woods, but you manage to keep your head above water.>*SPLASH*>Metaphorically speaking that is. Last time you checked, pneumonia isn't your special talent.>You quickly look up and down the street for some form of shelter.>Everything is closed and there are no awnings, umbrellas, or carriage stops to hide beneath.>*CRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAK*>Your ear catches the sound of a door opening somewhere over yonder.>The rain continues its relentless assault as your hooves gallop towards the opening door as fast as they can.>Soon a strange little shop rapidly comes into view, the only one that shows signs of life on this block.>In the distance you can vaguely make out the shape of a mare emerging from the shop. She quickly trots over to the curb and drops a bag of garbage.>The pony stops dead in her tracks upon spotting you in the darkness."Hello there! Nice weather we're having huh?" >You can practically FEEL the metaphorical spaghetti gushing from your nonexistent pockets.>Socializing was never your strong suit, otherwise you'd have a VERY different cutie mark.>The mare physically cringes at your corny interaction and turns to make a beeline for the safety of her shop."W-Wait miss! Please! I have nowhere else to go!">She turns to stare at your miserable form standing in the rain. You whimper with a trembling lip and beg her with desperate eyes.
>>41562089>Okay so you might be stretching the truth about having nowhere to go, but your home was five blocks over where the flood waters were rising to alarming levels.>After a bit of internal thought, the mare stands to the side and motions towards the open doorway.>"Fine, but you'd better-">You speed past her and head for the fireplace, its glowing warmth drawing you in like a moth to an ember.>"-hurry...">You stretch out and lay in front of the fire like a dog after a long day of chasing its tail.>"You're welcome." The mare chuckles from behind and throws a blanket on top of you."Oh yeah, thanks Miss-?">"Patches. Nice to meet you stranger." The curious mare quickly closes the front door and locks up for the night.>You watch her trot into the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove."I'm no stranger; I'm Tack." You quickly correct her.>"Tack hmmm? That's a nice name.">In the blink of an eye she's back in the living room to serve the tea.>You instinctively perform a quick double take to make sure your eyes are still working properly.>That mare can move fast!>Patches settles into a red recliner and calmly sips her tea in front of the fireplace.>You turn to the mare and prepare to say something, but the sight of her has you spitting your tea out.>Jelly jar glasses. Beautiful green eyes. Blonde mane tied back into a ponytail. Peach-colored coat. Cute smile. This mare is a total bucking bombshell!>"I take it your some kind of cobbler?" Patches asks without looking up from her tea.>You tear your eyes away from her before she notices.. The last thing you need is for her to brand you a creep."Uh yeah, but I'm just an apprentice.">"I see..." >She uses her magic to grab a book from the nearby bookshelf and begins to read."Wait, how did you know I was a cobbler('s apprentice)?" You look at her in confusion.>Patches looks up from her book and points to your flank.>"There aren't many professions that utilize shoes and craft hammers.">Gee willikers! This mare is as perceptive as she is beautiful."Fair enough. What line of work do YOU fall under?">Patches sets her book down on the nearby coffee table and looks at you.>"I make...dollhouses..." She blushes and looks down at her book as the last word passes her lips.>You catch a glimpse of the mare's flank in the dim light. Her cutie mark looks like a patch of cloth with a sewing needle.
Ponepaste got better
>>41562662How so?
>>41562804It's not dead. It doesn't have to go on the cart.
>>41562099This is good.
>>41562099"Huh? Your cutie mark doesn't look like a dollhouse." You protest.>"D-Dollhouses aren't the only things I make!" Patches frowns and covers her flank with the book."Well yeah but, it's not what your cutie mark-">"Ugh, you're just like the rest..." She sighs in disappointment. "Always jumping to conclusions!">Her words have your ears perking up faster than [insert lame pun here].>"My cutie mark may tell a different story, but I do enjoy making dollhouses and accessories.">She points to the various miniature dollhouses neatly organized on the shelves surrounding the fireplace.>To be fair, they do look well-crafted. Each dollhouse is entirely unique in both design and color."Gosh Patches, these dollhouses are beautiful! Are they all hoof carved?">"Yes indeed!" She trots next to you and smiles proudly. "Every single one of them was crafted with care by my own two hooves (and a smidge of magic)!">Your eyes slowly drift from house to house, looking over every single immaculate detail and accessory."No kidding! It's rare to see ponies put so much effort into their hobbies like this.">"Thank you for those kind words." Her ears droop as she looks over her own handiwork. "Not many ponies show such enthusiasm for my craft.">Her craftsmanship clearly eclipses your own, but strangely enough, it doesn't make you feel jealous or inadequate."If I had a daughter, she'd want to collect them all!" You jokingly state.>Patches' smile wanes and she turns to face you with a look of concern.>"If?" Her gorgeous green eyes stare right into yours. "Do you not have a...f-family?">You shake your head and try to break her line of sight before she sees the blush in your cheeks.>*DING* *DING* *DING*>You hear a clock chime somewhere in the darkened hallway next to the fireplace.
https://ponepaste.org/10425Yet another clopgreen involving a certain timid yellow mare. This time somewhat less degenerate, but that depends of your opinion of having sex with your mare while she's pregnant.
>>41551371yeah i definitely wanted to expand on that sequence with the princesses but the word count kept me from doing it, there was a ton of room for humor therei am writing a longer sequel, trying a writing style that's a bit looser this time around. i've kind of got dash fever latelyi wasn't but i wanted to be, didn't have enough PTO to go. flattered that i'd even be brought up there in the first place though, definitely plan on going next year
>Factorio expac came outIt's over for my writing activities for the next few months.
>>41564373I love that cute lil rainbow duck
>>41563706>"It's getting rather late..." Patches looks towards the fireplace and extinguishes its flames with her magic. >"Wouldn't you agree?">She trots over to the bookshelf and returns her book with a small yawn."Yep. I should probably head home now." You quickly rise to your hooves and stretch. "Thank you for your hospitality, Patches.">You head for the front door, ready to catch some Zs in the comfort of your own bed. Hopefully it isn't too soggy after all this rain.>"What?!" Patches teleports in front of the shop entrance and blocks your path. "Y-You can't leave yet! It's still raining cats and dogs outside!">"Y-You're more than welcome to spend the night!" The frazzled unicorn illuminates the hallway. "I have a guest room upstairs for just such an occasion!">Her panicked expression raises yet another red flag in your head.>Why does she suddenly want you to stick around? It's not like the two of you are best buddies or anything."What's...going on?" You raise an eyebrow. "Are you trying to foalnap me or something?">"Huh?! N-No, that's not it at all!" Patches takes a deep breath to calm herself. "It's just that, n-nopony else really appreciates my work like you do.">The flustered mare trots upstairs and motions for you to follow her. "And it's not often I get company.">Your mind is SCREAMING at you to get the buck out of here.
>>41566080RUN!
>>41566818There's no escaping a crazy mare.
>>41566080"You've been a wonderful host, but I don't want to take advantage of your hospitality." You push her to the side and quickly grab the door handle.>A peach colored hoof reaches out and tightly wraps around your forearm like a serpent. >Your eyes widen in shock. What kind of magic is this?!>"Please, a-at least take a look at my latest project before you go!" The mare begs you.>Her grip tightens around your foreleg, causing a sharp stab of pain to shoot through your body.>Patches' actions defy her gentle words in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. >There must've been a sale down at the red flag store, because your mind is drowning in them now.>This mare is trouble. >BIG TROUBLE."Fine." You sigh and let go of the door handle. "But make it quick alright? I have work in the morning.">It's best to just play along for now, at least until she's distracted long enough to make a beeline for the exit.>She squees with delight and instantly teleports the two of you to her darkened den.>"What do you think?" She happily points a hoof into the pitch black room.>You squint your eyes in confusion."I think it's pretty dark in here.">"Oh gracious, how silly of me!" She giggles nervously and illuminates the room with a light from her horn. "How about now?"
>page tenbegonewithyou
>>41567261Is it a torture chamber?
Should we start something for NMN?
>>41567930no mares november?
>to write or not to write>that is the question
>>41569382DO IT
>>41569382Don't do it
>>41569382maybe do it
>>41569382NEVER WRITE
Honestly, after I've been writing more I've started to feel the urge to write even more. Now I understand graphomaniacs, people like kkat with his FoE.
>>41571236>kkatkek more like somber
>>41571236Starting has always been the hardest part for me. And keeping the momentum after taking a break. Can easily do a chapter in one sitting if I just sit down but the problem is finding the time to sit down for a few hours with no interruptions.
she probably bumps the thread
>>41568545I wouldn't survive that.
Pray that you never have to read your own greens to your waifu.
Hi anons, does anyone know any good greens where anon is the villain?
>>41575336https://ponepaste.org/1820Not a green but https://www.fimfiction.net/story/516959/rider-on-the-storm is also good.
>>41575433I might check this one out.
>>41575433Thanks anon
>>41573756Who in particular?
>>41568545Truly horrifying.
>>41575336Depends. Is it funny or serious?
>>41575433Storm King-adjacent position seems to be popular for evil Anons.
>>41579877Huh, I did not know this.
>>41580389There's a green in /nmp/ going where Anon seems to be opposing ponies commanding a post-stormking force. My own idea about a villain Anon would also probably involve that if I ever get to writing it.
part old, some new, forever wiphttps://hackmd.io/GmzBLEVTQiqV6bHoSf-YXw?view
>>41581355nice
>10Not good.
>>41583077Someone could write an random impromptu green and get graded by the rest fo the thread.
>>41583408>Be mare>Inna Equestria>Walking to market cause I'm out of horse instant ramen>Suddenly, I see>Him>Tall>Green>And wearing a whole suit>Like a whorse>And sundamn, look at them legs>They're as tall as me!>Buck, he's so cute>I-I'm gonna go talk to him>Almost there, just a few more hooves to reach him>Oh hey, it's that zig-I MEAN ZEBRA>That ZEBRA that lives in the woods is going up to him now>And she's...oh no>Nonononono >NO!>She's bucking talking to him!>Buck...it's so BUCKING over...>I'm going home...More later maybe idk
>>41583408>Be you>Sat in room touching your dick because Equestria hasn't invented the internet yet>Suddenly Pinkie>"Hey, Anon! Let's be-- wow, that thing is -tiny-.""Pinkie, please.">"Hey, Anon! Let's be -random-!">You leap to your feet, hyped to get started."H*ck yeah! Let's go!">Pinkie claps her hooves twice.>You consciousness is ripped from your body and translated 37 billion lightyears away in a void between two spiral arm galaxies>Every quark in your body is blasted apart and quantum tunnelled to a twin all over the observable universe>Before you can register this, your entire being is scrambled again, your atoms and presence blinked to an entirely different universal configuration>You would scream, but you have no means of doing so>Your feelings boil between nihilism and euphoria every half-second>There is no respite for an indeterminate span of time, but twice during the period you feel your arms brush against Pinkie's -- her essence floods into yours and your thoughts intermingle>As your soul floats past the event horizon of a supermassive blackhole, your form rushes back to Equestria, and you reconfigure in your bedroom next to Pinkie Pie>You're both naked and screaming, unable to fathom what happened>Pinkie holds her head in her hooves, curled into a ball, and shrieks so loudly her vocal chords rupture>You grab her body and cling to her, her violently shaking body the only anchor you have to reality>Hours pass before you're both calmed and somewhat composed>She keeps her head curled into your body, against your chest, weeping>More hours pass, and you lie in silence in the dead of night, your curtains open>Eventually, you sniff and speak in a hoarse voice"You think about butts a -lot-, Pinkie Pie.">She sniffs>"What else is there to think about.""True."
>>41583541>"Hey, Anon! Let's be-- wow, that thing is -tiny-."3/10I couldn't get into the character
>>41583433>>41583541Irate each of these 9 out of 10.
>>41567261>You see many unfinished plush dolls and dollhouses strewn about.>This chick needs a few lessons on keeping her work area clean.>"Welcome to my workshop!" She teleports to the entrance of an unusually large dollhouse sitting in the center of the room. >You rub your eyes and blink again. How did you not notice that giant dollhouse before?!"Wow, you've certainly been busy." You nervously chuckle. "I bet these'll look great when they're all finished.">Just keep calm and be polite. The last thing you need right now is to push her off the deep end of her sanity.>She smiles and blushes before turning to paint the doorframe of her life-sized dollhouse. "T-Thank you...">Patches finishes painting the doorframe and hastily throws the brush into an empty paint can.
>>41585105>Your mane stands on end as the door suddenly opens by itself, seemingly without magic involved."D-Did you o-open that, P-Patches?" Your teeth are chattering up a storm.>The mare teleports to your side and shakes her head. "No.">"How strange that the door opened on its own." Her lip curls into a devious grin. "It's almost as if-">She stops midsentence and looks deep into your eyes. >You take a few steps back to give yourself some personal space, but the mare quickly closes the distance.>"Would you like to see the interior?" She motions towards the dollhouse's open door. >"I-It's not quite finished yet, but I think an upstanding gentlecolt such as yourself deserves a sneak peak!">Is this some kind of prank?"W-What's going on Patches? Why are you acting so...STRANGE?!">There's no hiding it now, you're in full panic mode. M-Maybe she won't notice?! >Your eyes dart all over the place, desperately trying to find some sort of distraction to help you escape this lunatic.
