I think I've developed BPD somehow at the age of 32 and I need tips on how to cope and how to get myself diagnosed without it shooting me in the fucking kneecaps, especially seeing how I'm a trans woman and I'm afraid it'll fucking decimate my chances on the dating marketFor years I've had:>feelings of emptiness>anger outbursts over menial shit>impulsive behavior, like buying shit, binge eating and even nearly engaging in unprotected sex once>a rapidly changing and distorted self-image>dissociation episodes>moods which switch between days>self-harmful and suicidal tendencies>hallucinations, delusions and paranoia, especially under stressAnd suddenly since end of this year I have:>intense fear of abandonment that drives me up the fucking wall>mood swings, sometimes rapid, sometimes between daysComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
Well, professional help, but if it's not possible right now then meditating helps, I am still a piece of shit when I get mad, I am violent and cruel when someone enrages me but my anger threshold increased greatly after months of isolation and meditation.I used to lash out at anyone and anything, anywhere without a care for consequences, I'd constantly put my life in danger for no reason at all, I would mistreat my friends and family over petty shit, I was jealous of everyone and everything, I still do stupid stuff out of anger but now I am conscious of how wrong I am I think that's what helped me the most, realizing I wasn't and still aren't a good person is what keeps me somewhat sane, it's a long and slow process so I think getting professional help would be better.
>>42170309Well, I want to get professional help. But truthfully, I'm afraid. I've seen what happens when BPD sufferers seek help. They get extremely strictly monitored, marked as dangerous, prescribed many drugs, and have to go through hellish years-long treatment. I want to get better, but I don't want any of these things. I'm just scared.
>>42170177>unprotected sex is personality disorder behaviorMy bodycount unprotected is like 45 as a transbian and no stds so far
>>42170177>even nearly engaging in unprotected sex oncedamn that's crazy
I think you should have the unprotected sex
since I'm diy-ing I can't exactly talk to a doctor about it because they would probably tell me to just stop taking e and report back in 6 months or whatever, so I really really hope someone here had a similar experience or a few reassuring words...Im 26 and I started hrt about 3 months ago.14ml of Estradiol een/week subq. (7mg). Ive had long curly hair for the past 8 years of life without any problems. After about 9-10 weeks I saw a lot of changes that made me happy: soft skin, puffy nipples and my mood was generally a lot better and more stable - although idk if that last part is thanks to estrogen.I even think what little body hair and beard I have are growing a lot slower. So far so good.Although I havent been able to do any test I am quite confident my T levels are pretty much nuked because by now my drive to goon is pretty nonexistent and when I do cum it's almost dry or very little - something that only changed recently in the last 2-3 weeks I thinkRecently I realized my scalp is more visible than usual, especially on the crown area and it seems like my parting line is wider than ever before. I don't think I suffered from male pattern hair loss before and I doubt it's just commencing as I start to transition.In fear of having nuked my T too much too early, I lowered my dose of e to 10ml5mg)/week. for the past 2 weeks. I read so much online that I don't even know what's actually helpful atp. Some say it could be excessive shedding and it'll grow back, others say that nuking t and adding e - like any other hormonal imbalance - can cause stuff like this... but will it ever recover if I keep on transitioning?Some even said E montherapy is a waste of time and I need finasteride and minoxidil asap.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42171254look into hair loss at the onset of minoxidil, could be something similar. the idea is that those follicles died/became inactive or whatever and the hair was just sitting in it not growing. then when it reactivates, it pushes the old hair out with a new one, causing visible loss.
>>42171392I really hope that's the case. How long do you recon should I weight then before expecting to see it thicken again? 3 months? Half a year?Also, and that might just be because I'm no biologist, but I don't know what's the relation between starting estrogen and sudden new hair growth. Is monotherapy nuking my dht levels thereby reanimating possibly dead follicles?
>>42171371what's fsh?As soon as I find a new job next year and can affort it Ill definetly get some bloodwork done so I'd be happy to know what to look out for
>>42171507i mean get it tested to check but i personally have been on mono for 3 years and my hairline recovered a lot (enough that they can do coronal + transplants for FFS vs the hairline incision). i was pretty dissociated for the first year so its hard to remember but i think i experienced something similar.
>>42171254Balding moid here. Basically what >>42171392 Said. Sadly hair shit takes a while to unwind so you wont know if its regrowth shed vs valding for like 4 months but it could be it. With valding its always best to assume the worst. I implore you to start using topical minoxidil twice a day(doesnt need a prescription in modt nations), massaging the scalp 15 minutes twice a day, dermarolling with a 1.5mm roller once every three weeks, sessions no longer than 6-7 mins, cover the entire scalp Ingest vit A, E and D as well as biotin, iron and zinc.Scalp massages help to slow down almost ALL kinds of balding save for ommunoduppressive disorder so go do those regardless of anything.I cant speak about HRT in specifics but assuming hair loss the two theories i'd have are.>Anemia bc of metabolic changes. Effluvius alopecia from lack of proper blood pressure in the scalp>Raise in DHT bc of unforseen hormone interactionCant help with the latter at all sadly.See if it follows the norwoof scale or the assymetriv balding pattern(entire scalp first instead of hairline recession.) for more info.Throw in finasteride or dutasteride into the DIY mix if you feel particularly paranoid. Those nulify DHT(the kind of T responsible for male pattern baldness) take scalp pics weekly(IMPORTANT AS FUCK!!!)
diego
sulfuric acid youngshits just purchase sulfuric acid these guys pass as female and we oldshits look like men.
>>42171017He's so me.
>>42171441No one is dumb enough for that anon
>>42171017dame tu culo puto
all i remember is he got in hot water years ago for trying to push someone into gay sex when they didnt want it
>>42170235you're just like me. I wish I could hug you and show you that you're not alone :c
>>42169181>>42169950>>42170235Homosexual men and women have documented unusual masculinized/feminized regions in the brain. (masculine for lesbians, feminine for gay men)I think this gives them the upper advantage of having a more gender non-conforming approach to life, relationships, and fashion while also not experiencing trans-typical dysphoria.Gays/lesbians may exhibit dysphoric symptoms in childhood due to heteronormative beliefs and strict gender roles, because if they were the "right" sex, they could have what they want.They usually embrace fluid gender expression as opposed to trans people, who favor stricter gender roles as the sex they're transitioning towards.
>>42171497but im sort of a lesbian and i still have this problem. and i know everyone laughs at the trans lesbian oh how typical how MANLY of you to like women but i dont know what im supposed to do this is just how i am.
>>42170235lmaoo someone needs to draw this
Transgender folks are genetically closer to our chimpanzee ancestors than to cisgendered modern humans.
>>42166208No, you're thinking of Indians anon
>>42168068Jeets are genetically 50,000 years in the future relative to where transgenders are.
>>42168113In the smelly, dark year of 52025, in the last city amidts the roiling poop ocean and crashing waves of cardboard, under the coal tainted clouds and twisted masses of electrical wires, below the invisible rail network, the first labjeet stumbles out of his filthtube, embryo removed from an unwilling mother, yet he does not yet know of scientific significance for the only thought on his mind is of sexual emergency. His eyes lock on a female researcher holding a clipboard. He imagines her vagina beneath her lab coat. He lunges, but an invisible locomotive strikes him. The test concludes. On to the next sample.
>>42168297true
Incredibly based
Just like how emo peaked in 2008 and didn’t completely die off until 2012I give it another 2 years until it’s completely over
>>42170214I am a bisexual
>>42169236two more weeks
>>42170126trvke except that even TEOTWAWKI wouldn't get rid of trannies
Anon, I think you're very wrong about this one. I've been watching these changes since I started transition in the early 00s. This is more of a toothpaste-out-of-the-tube situation.
>>42171341They certainly are vaginas
I thought political lesbianism was a discredited memeWhy do bisexual and lesbian women want heterosexual women to read lesbian fiction so much?
>>42171137why do people get so pissy about what smut others goon to?
>>42171137I ALREADY LIVE AS A WOMAN MY WHOLE LIFE WHY DO I NEED TO READ SHIT THAT CENTERS WOMEN. I AM WOMEN. THE PEOPLE WHO WRITE YAOI SHIT ARE ALMOST ALL WOMEN. I JUST WANT TO LOOK AT CUTE DRAWINGS OF GUYS.
>>42171179Yuri isn't goon material, is liberating®.For fuck's sake, the Western queer female yuri fandom must be the most buck broken of all fandoms.>I really want to make people read yuri, even if it is by deceiving them
>>42171281>Western queer female yuri fandomlesbians are super insecure about being compared to straight men
>>42171302Why?
/lesgen/ is the lesbian general for all cis women and trans women (MtF) to discuss lesbian relationships and topics.QOTT>Are you a fan of enemies to lovers? Favorite lesbian trope?>How do you decorate your room? Would you date someone with a messy room?>What songs do you listen to when you’re falling in love? During a breakup?>How will you celebrate the new year? Will you have a new year’s kiss?tagmap: https://tagmap.io/tag/%2Flesgen%2Fdiscord: https://discord.gg/bAnVMAGPNRold thread: >>42115509
>>42169156>>42169207anon, pleaseplease talk to me, don't get cold feet again, I promise ill be nice
>>42169049need so badly to be picrel but i can't seem to find the motivation to exercise like i need to :( and gaining weight makes me feel so yuckysimultaneously>>deep desire to be held and seen as cute becomes overwhelminggod i feel this so much
>>42169719Sorry sorry life events came up that took me away for a bit. I need to dig out an alt. Would you be comfortable dropping your Disc so I can add you?
>>42170767sassafras0691
>>42171110Got it, gimme a min
All replies must contain your tag. This means no replies purely to comment on another's post.>letter(s)>about>primary interest>other interests>looking for>not looking for>(free space)>contact
>letter(s)Straight, MTF, 18. >aboutIm a terminally online neet who has been on HRT for 4 months and lives in the US, specifically Texas. I have extreme dysphoria and am probably mentally ill so if you are chill with that then cool!>primary interestI like Music Ive been listening to MCR and PTV recently and some other emo bands. I have a wide range of music taste that can go from metal to hip hop to classical, if you have anything that youd like to recommend to me, Im open. I like vidya also, I play souls likes, JRPGS, and story telling games. My favorite game is Bloodborne. I like history, watching videos, movies, TV and other stuff. I also like watching anime too, though I havent been watching all that much anime anymore. My favorite animes are Bleach, Naruto, Toradora, Spirited away and some others I cant think of right now. >looking forFriends, people who are just terminally online and mentally ill as me, chill people, and people with a sense of humor.>not looking forChasers.>contactComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
26/m/us6'3"widower (its ok we were getting divorced anyways)play sc2, rotmg (lol), some fighting games nowlove cyber/security researchI also like cooking, reading, cars, simracing, guns, exercise, welding, etc>noteim racist, and trans inclusive sexist(this does not mean I am a rightoid, they love browns too)>tagjoeje
>>42167523timezone?
>letter(s) T, L, MTF, BPD>aboutI grew up at home with my 2 parents who were fairly aggressive, often alcoholics, and would physically fight with both of them. This means I have bite and am abrasive, bite back! I will not respect your boundaries if you don't set them clearly.>primary interest Games (design), playing through Pokemon lazarus (i like Pokemon in general)I don't like realistic or narrative heavy games! Please respect this<3>other interestsWeed>looking forPeople to talk to about video games i like, that will evolve into mutual obsession where we talk daily or bi-daily at the minimumComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42171485Also, if anyone cares, I'm west coast, but would like to have something online for a while first! It takes me time to fully trust you won't be insufferable irl <3
I wish there was some place for older (30+) trannies like me. Every online trans space is filled with extremely young people or reppers.
>>42168702Nice oldfag thread, immediaty a retard replies to bait. Actually sad, I promise I have it worse than you, and I still dont get baited. Please change and grow as a person.
It's weird being a millennial who transitioned relatively young, and who made it, since young people think we don't exist. But like, as you can tell from the various stories itt it's because we learned not to be out and proud. Back in the day surrounding yourself with queers meant relegating yourself to a ghetto from which you couldn't escape.
BUMP
>>42158299if its like the tranny nights i've been to, then its because they're into clocky babytrannies
Old trannies are so cool. More old trannies should join the discord.
have you ever been caught assfucking and/or getting assfucked, anon?
>>42171198not genuine hsts, just sissy/rapehon fetishists. no trutrans women top men.
>>42171242transbians aren't trutrans either though. not liking men makes you faketrans.
>>42171242copehsts are the only type of troonies that are willing to top men and they can also be rapehons
bottoming is always correct & valid. topping is only valid when with other transfems. topping men is pornbrained chaserfetishism; topping women is gross rapehon behavior.>>42171257transbians are valid as long as they aren't rapehons.>>42171266true hsts solely bottom for men.
>>42171404Transbians are NOT valid, but bisexuality/pansexuality is valid. Transbianism isn't valid for the same reasons cis lesbianism is wrong
foamer editionq what are your favorite transit vehiclesq2 if you could drive any transit vehicle what would you drive>>42144666
>>42170816if that's actually true then you don't belong here either, we would do anything to be "stuck" in your position
>>42170816I mean, stop taking hrt for one...
>>42170497bump
>>42170801having a family (even an unorthodox) is something important to me personally eventually, so i have banked sperm even before touching HRT. doctors will warn you beforehand many times to not to leave things to chance and always assume to worst that HRT make you sterile.but in reality, latest research show that if you stop HRT, fertility eventually comes back. but the longer you are on HRT, the longer it will take for fertility to return (2-3 years).
>>42171399Thank you for the information.I'm a bit at a loss as to the logistics of freezing sperm to begin with. I've never had the desire to start a family but i'm very young(age twenty) so its likely to change at some point.
where are the buff trans guys in my town. fucking sick to death of cissoids but i need a guy in my life and in me. am i going to have to move to the city
>>42170557my bad, i am a chubby sedentary tranny and just figured hard muscle was the opposite of soft fat
>>42170090Inspiring! Amazing physique, lost weight and got in shape!
>>42169365I'll never understand why every single trans man on testosterone is fat. T makes you burn calories like crazy and build muscle too right?? Were they all just fat before HRT too, and the skinny fujo AAP's never end up taking T? I just want a buff ST4T bf
>>42171378need buff trans bf to finger me and choke me while i twitch on his arm....
>>42169974not op, but gosh i'd forcemasc the shit out of you i hate to see wasted potential.
I am a 26 year old tranny and I still have esex on discord for male validation and I like it
>>42170945I personally don't think so but people tell me I'm cute sometimes
>>42170957Post unsee
>>42170993I don't do that anymore because anons were saving them and reposting them in a creepy way sorry
>>42170647so evil
>>42170647this but im 21
Like, for instance, when I see someone like picrel (I know it has been posted here already), my mind goes like: "if you really want to be a woman, why tf are you keeping that beard?". I would assume that a closeted trans woman would use every opportunity she has to be more feminine, even with stupid things like facial hair. I'm saying this as someone who had long hair, wore things like cardigans and t-shirts with flowers and shaved obsessively before I ever thought I might be trans. Especially after one has realised they're trans and has decided to troon, you would expect this person to shave off any facial hair immediately. I'm not trying to be some kind of ultratrutrans grifter here, because i'm AGP myself, but like... people like picrel really do seem not to know what they're doing.
>>42170247this guy is really pissing me off, i looked at the OP video and his justification for trooning is "I always got along better with girls" and didnt say anything else, I dont know if he does in the other videos but he is being very vague about how he came to this conclusion. He seems like an autist tbqh
>>42170247>hip growth in 3 weeks of hrtit’s a christmas miracle!
>>42167309The beard is gone in the follow-up video
>>42168611This, I neglect my appearance as a man. Why would I give a shit about looking good as a man. OP's pic shows a well groomed beard. for me it's full blown hobo beard and long jesus hair. Had long hair for years now and I can't go back to short, too dysphoric. My facial hair also makes me dysphoric but due to live conditions I can't start shaving my body hair and the beard ironically is an easy social mask to hide behind. Like you said, no one would suspect the dude with a beard is a tranner. >>42168679Where did you get your PhD in psychology young blood? You're retarded BTW. I used to shave all my body hair from the eyebrows done from puberty till about 18 and then many life factors ended up breaking me and I spent my adult years caught in a spiral of shame, depression, repression, and extreme denial. It's simple and fairly common. >>42168889This, shaving won't shrink my shoulders. I look like i swam in the fucking olympics. Shave every hair off my head and give me fake tits. I'll look like a male swimmer out to steal all the ladies records. I have size 12 feet in mens. Finding women's shoes that fit me is very hard. For the record I will be boymodding in 2026 and going back to shaving eyebrows down.
>>42171160>I look like I swam in the fucking olympicsI look like I ate the Olympics, so you've got me there.
