I think I've developed BPD somehow at the age of 32 and I need tips on how to cope and how to get myself diagnosed without it shooting me in the fucking kneecaps, especially seeing how I'm a trans woman and I'm afraid it'll fucking decimate my chances on the dating marketFor years I've had:>feelings of emptiness>anger outbursts over menial shit>impulsive behavior, like buying shit, binge eating and even nearly engaging in unprotected sex once>a rapidly changing and distorted self-image>dissociation episodes>moods which switch between days>self-harmful and suicidal tendencies>hallucinations, delusions and paranoia, especially under stressAnd suddenly since end of this year I have:>intense fear of abandonment that drives me up the fucking wall>mood swings, sometimes rapid, sometimes between daysComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42170177>hallucinations, delusions and paranoia, especially under stressare you sure that's bpd nona?
>>42170223I had myself tested for schizophrenia and schizotypal personality disorder, all the psychologists basically went that's because of your autism or your brain is just overly active because shit's not consistent but I do have periods where they get worse, like looking at an LED light in the dark and it becoming full on fucking mosaic-like, or full-on paranoia and trying to disable all the microphones in my house, but it really only happens when stress gets bad or my depression hits too deep
>>42170268psychologists don't know shit. have a read of this bad boyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-disorder>The presence or absence of self-disorders has been used to distinguish schizophrenia spectrum disorders from other psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder,[2] and autism spectrum disorder.[3]
Well, professional help, but if it's not possible right now then meditating helps, I am still a piece of shit when I get mad, I am violent and cruel when someone enrages me but my anger threshold increased greatly after months of isolation and meditation.I used to lash out at anyone and anything, anywhere without a care for consequences, I'd constantly put my life in danger for no reason at all, I would mistreat my friends and family over petty shit, I was jealous of everyone and everything, I still do stupid stuff out of anger but now I am conscious of how wrong I am I think that's what helped me the most, realizing I wasn't and still aren't a good person is what keeps me somewhat sane, it's a long and slow process so I think getting professional help would be better.
>>42170309Well, I want to get professional help. But truthfully, I'm afraid. I've seen what happens when BPD sufferers seek help. They get extremely strictly monitored, marked as dangerous, prescribed many drugs, and have to go through hellish years-long treatment. I want to get better, but I don't want any of these things. I'm just scared.
>tfw Scorpio Moon, the most malebrained moon sign, so I can never be a real girl
>>42169931Even if you could. Do you even still live there? Besides, why would anyone waste their time trying to track you down? Are you special?
>>421684411st reply I can let slide, but the rest were just you being a cunt cuz you didn't get what you wanted
>>42170071no and no, i don't live there...but that's two really specific data points idk you could probably figure out who i am and that's scary (or maybe you are implying that this is impossible but this is my fear). i have made a lot of silly mistakes online anent my identity in the past and it seems like that sort of stuff becomes less safe every year......i am just trying to be smart
>>42170096Yeah that's true, sorry, it's not like me to do that
If more anons come by to read charts I would be v thankful if I was included!
Look how much longer even a surgically altered male skull is vs an actual female skull.
>>42170298(she is a hon)
>>42170298I have both a male and female brain and they fight for control
>>42170175ask the last guy who thought this how it went for him
>>42170342what happened?
>>42170124nah, not insane, just fans of twinks
What is your favorite book written by a trans person? Mine is Darryl by Jackie Ess. It felt like having a panic attack the entire time
>>42160469i loveeee darryl. one of my favorite pieces of trans literature cause it’s not super about being trans. it’s unlike most of the trans auto fiction that’s super popular. Very excited for her next book. I’d also recommend School by Isabel Paban Freed, it’s similar in that way
>>42160469I thought the ending was dumb
Fags can't read
>>42160617i fear you’re neglecting to mention the authors who write literal torture porn
>>42169979she's chill, i was disappointed to get serious weakness though cause i was ready for 600 pages but the font is so gigantic it reads more like 100. trans infinite jest when
Gay sex edition>QOTT: Have you ever had gay sex?>QOTT2: Did you enjoy it?>QOTT3: If not, why?Last thread: >>42106130
>>42168486the ones here are probably significantly above averagebut the ones who end up on the streets due to drugs probably fairly low
>>42170412>unless you already pass you should NEVER transitionnot that i'm going to transition but that seems like an impossible standard?
>>42170462Youd be surprised how many non-HRT passoids exist, though it rarely lasts beyond your 30s
>>42170412>unless you already passlmao
new thread >>42170497
I've gone on a few dates and it was weird. On both they seemed interested in meeting and talking (brought up doing fun things, seemed happy to find someone like them, told me that they haven't really gone on many dates before, etc.) then after the date it's like a complete 180. They're no longer interested in talking, tell me I "might be interesting but it's hard to know for sure", dodge the question when I ask what went wrong.It's kind of depressing me a bit because I think about it so often. I don't know if people are legitimately just lying to my face. I'm not sure if I need to upgrade my fashion or follow some looks-max content or whatever.I haven't spend much time on looks i guess because i've been worried about uni and my apartment but i guess that's no excuse
Are your dating app pictures anglefrauds? Maybe u just look diff irl
>>42170440i sorta look at my face enough that i can't tell if i'm cooked or not. it's like looking at an essay you've written for so long that you don't see the flaws that are glaringly apparent
>>42170461side profile is not good, i have an overbite and a larger nosebridge. From a level head-on view though I actually look fine i think
>>42170461I mean what angle constitutes an angle fraud? I've met people who've done higher angles. maybe I should adjust to throw in more face level photos
have you ever been caught assfucking and/or getting assfucked, anon?
>>42166865This is untrue where are they?
>>42167022Here
>>42163399
>>42166865trans woman here, i hate topping
>>42170433TranniesA.) alwaysB.) beC.) cumming in homo asses
qott: what are you going to do different in 2026
Only hsts are valid.
How are trannies actually different from retarded men with porn addiction?
>>42170374
>>42170399It's a legitimate question
>>42170374It's a weird bisexuality they have inside of them that fucks up their self-perceptionSome are more homo (HSTS) and some are more hetero (AutoGoonerphile) but on the same continuum. They want estrogen effects. For internal goon or external goon validation to match their strange sense of self.
>>42170147
>>42170374See I'm actually doing estrogen as some kind of fucked up self harm ritual because it makes me feel worse and I don't deserve to feel good
Would you date a transbian neet who spends a good chunk of her free time despairing over being alone and obsessing over potential new partners?
>>42166215Why
bump
bunp
Bbhn
Bjuup
why are azn boys, and bottoms by extension, like this?
>>42170327Trololol
>>42170340Not sure ur point king
>>42170327So this faggot, pictured here fucking black guys makes people talking about it indian
>>42170358Anyone who uses a term like whitecel is usually a jeet thats why they get butthurt when u say it
>>42166929I don't get it. cock is cock. doesn't matter the color
how do you choose between the two? i'm a neverpassing hon, and by that i mean no hope of passing whatsoever at any point in the future. i have a very masculine and uncanny face and FFS is extremely unlikely to tip me into passing territory even if i do afford it someday. i can't convincingly manmode because of other aspects of my appearance. i honmode socially, that means using a female name and dressing in women's clothing primarily. this has been the case for coming up on five years now and i've never actually faced violence or anything for being trans, even verbal harassment is something that just hasn't happened to me in three or four years by now. people in public just quietly disapprove but don't really tend to get involved. at the same time it does sort of hurt a lot to feel rejected, i'm super sensitive to it and it hasn't really started to hurt less with the years (if anything it hurts more).i have something resembling a community or group of friends irl who treat me generally well. we just don't talk about the trans thing and never have, they don't seem to have a problem referring to me with a female name and pronouns. i think it helps that my voice is very feminine even if the rest of my appearance leans male. it helps a bit to hang out with them, but my other daily interactions tend to drain me. i have given serious thought to detransition but it feels a bit awkward to broach the subject with people i know irl as i've never talked about being trans with them in the first place. i'm about to start a new job too where i already stupidly gave my female name. should i just make steps towards detransitioning and drop everything and move somewhere else?
>>42164807get srsbecome vagbrohang out with dickbros
>>42164876wish i could afford it. i do have genital dysphoria, i feel like a vagina would look really weird on me because of how unpassing i am though.
>>42164807nice pic
Become addicted to drugs
>>42164902vaginas look awesome on ftms surely even if you look so masculine it would be fine
>How come I've never seen a passing tranny?
>>42170147Every time I see a toupee it looks like shit
>>42170147>why do all the fags i see act like women
>>42170147Wouldn't the passing tranny be these planes since these were the ones who got home unclocked
>what is INTERGEN?INTERGEN is a general for intersex people to talk to each other about their experiences or just to hang out>what is an intersex person?Intersex people are those born with any of several sex characteristics, including chromosome patterns, gonads, or genitals that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies>am I intersex?We are not doctors, please seek medical advice, but dont be afraid to ask questions here to maybe understand things better>are trans people intersex?Trans people are not inherently intersex, however an intersex person can transition if they want, “neurologically intersex” is not real as being intersex pertains to the sex organs or hormonal productions>how is this /lgbt/?We share similar experiences of discrimination and social prejudice based on sex and gender norms, even though intersex is a variation of sex characteristics, not a gender identity or sexual orientation itself—————————Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42166896So the fact that if you give a pregnant rat megadoses of testosterone it turns her daughters gay (does it, or does it just prevent the lordosis reflex from developing?) doesn't mean every human lesbian developed under the influence of megadoses of prenatal testosterone. Obviously. So, absent evidence a particular lesbian developed that way, why would we call her intersex?Do you think all lesbians are even butch? Do you think all gay men are the stereotypical flamers?Nearly every "sex associated characteristic" exists as two overlapping but distinct distributions, which means you inevitably get individuals who are outliers on one or more traits. Does that mean the entire human population is intersex?
>>42167153this is a silly argument you're makingyou can induce intersex development with exogenous hormone-mimicking chemicals, but not all cases of intersex development are caused by exogenous chemicalswhat that points to is that homosexuality represents a neurological intersex state as an opposite sex development pathway we have gone down to become gay or lesbian>Do you think all lesbians are even butch? Do you think all gay men are the stereotypical flamers?statistically, yes, actuallylesbians and gay men have quite a strong childhood GNC effect, and even as adults they're substantially less gender conforming in other ways, they're even closer to the other sex in physical build and facial features>Nearly every "sex associated characteristic" exists as two overlapping but distinct distributions, which means you inevitably get individuals who are outliers on one or more traits. Does that mean the entire human population is intersex?no, because considering all traits at once, there's a pretty clean separationpeople who make this kind of argument are wordcels who don't get how multivariate traits work
>>42167366>no, because considering all traits at once, there's a pretty clean separationOK I'll bite. Which traits specifically both clearly separate heterosexual males from heterosexual females but that also reliably separate homosexuals from heterosexuals? Is there a published multivariate model?Also what about bisexuals? Are they all faking or is even sexuality a spectrum?
>>42166767I can imagine! No snow here but it's been pretty cold and windy and I'm not a fan of being outside right now.Hope you had a good day off!
>>42169893I did I watched Frankenstein, the new one it was really good
New Year's Editionprevious: >>42044782 >>42079478 (died prematurely)Goal of the thread: Consider the things you want to improve or accomplish, whether long- or short-term. What small steps can you make towards those goals?Daily goals can be repeated. Remember to keep score, it can only go up!>What is this thread for?Getting better is hard, and sucks. A lot. It does not get easier doing it alone.Share resources and experiences with combating depression, anxiety, personal issues, achieving or maintaining a healthy weight, etc.>Why is this thread /lgbt/?Struggles with mental and physical health are an indisputable part of /lgbt/ life, be it from dysphoria, social pressure, heartbreak, or just unfortunate lifestyle choices.>Notes to consider:Please be civil. Shame is your greatest enemy in fighting urges of self abuse (be it sh, drugs, or just self deprecation). Relapsing into bad and unhealthy habits is to be expected, the goal is to increase the average amount of time it takes between relapses. Any improvement is a victory no matter how small. Your worth and right to get better are non-negotiable. And most importantly:WE ARE NOT THERAPISTS, WE DON'T REPLACE MEDICATION>Note on adviceComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>42162119>>42133552>How are you holding up, Anon?alright. finally got home from the hospital after a gallbladder surgery. i was very afraid but things are mostly fine. a little upset cause i didn’t eat for nearly 2 days and it’s frustrating to feel like i’m losing progress in gaining weight
Is doomposting allowed here
Lowk wanna troon out but also i'm a low value male never had a gf have no friends am short and no good at anything so it feels a bit like a cope/nietzschean death drive/chemical castration desu.>>42166785>What usually lead to your performance issues? Same lack of focus and such?Nah. I dont really get that tired at home bc i can pace around and gst stimulated and stuff but i always give up super easily on things. Tried coding, drawing, writing, jogging, ttrpgs and classic literature but i've never had immediate talent and i just fizzle out within a week or two.I've never once been good at anything. Barely scraped tbrough HS and i dont think i studied once in the entirety of my tenure kek.
bump>>42168118i think so
okay i love you, bu-byeNighty night!
