What are the funniest wargame mechanics you've ever encountered?
>>97243344So Wheels can't deploy from the other side of the table?
In Chan of Command your commander can become a drunkard if you lose enough battles
>>97244175I'm pretty sure the outflank rule was only introduced in the following edition, and at the time the WS player would have had to move his units on board through his own table edge, which he couldn't do since you can't move through enemy models and he had no jump infantry (which could move over the Kroot) or tanks (which could force the Kroot out of the way with a tank shock test). As people have pointed out before, there would have been plenty of ways to prevent this scenario: just deploying one unit on the board would have been enough since you couldn't be infiltrating units within 12'' (if there's no LOS) or 18'' (if there is LOS) of enemy units. But since he was playing a WAAC list consisting nothing but fast bikes that arrive on board on the player's first turn to ensure the opponent can never shoot at them before they get to move and shoot, he had his whole army in reserves and lacked any way to get past a single unit think Kroot conga-line.
>>97244175No, he would require Khan to do that and he'd come in off the sides. You couldn't just come in from reserves anywhere at the time, you had to arrive from your table edge unless you were outflanking (a specific, declared rule) or you were Snikrot, who could specifically come in on the enemy's edge. This is providing this is 5th, which I believe it is since the deployment type seems to be "Dawn of War" (deploy HQ and two troops, everything else in reserve) and null deployment on Dawn of War was very common. This deployment type added to the mechanization if 5th ed armies, but that's a different topic. It meant 1/3 of the time your static firepower had to walk onto the table, so they couldn't shoot at all and couldn't run since that wasn't a thing.I want to point out that this is a full 4x6 table, so that's an asston of kroot even fully spread at 2" coherency.
>>97244338>>97244389Ah I see.I didn't understand any of your explanations, I never got within 20 meters of a tabletop game. But thanks for explaining eitherway.
Winter Gloom EditionPreviously on /slop/: >>97227237 ▶ Thread Task: Moody and gloomy winter pictures.And maybe characters trying to find a comfy warm corner.▶ Generatorshttps://bing.com/images/create/https://sora.chatgpt.com/https://gemini.google/overview/image-generation/https://perchance.org/ai-text-to-image-generatorComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97242990>>97243208>>97243484They're great wyrm dragons from a long running Pathfinder campaign. I used Wrathion as reference ages ago so now that's what that character looks like to my players.
>>97243990Reminds me of Rapeman
>>97243138makes me think of the OVA series Cyber City Oedo 808 where the criminals have to wear explody collars while doing super dangerous jobs to work off their multiple life sentences.
>>97244528Cyber City is a great little ova series and has a fantastic dub and don't let any vampire jumping up and biting you on the end of your fuckin' dick tell you otherwise.
>>97244560that's one of the most fantastic lines I've ever heard and anyone who doesn't like it can go take a space taxi back to planet idiot.
Christmas Edition>Previous thread:>>97173638Battlefleet Gothic, Blood Bowl, Epic, Kill Team,Man-o-War, Middle-Earth Strategy Battle Game, Mordheim,Necromunda, Shadow War: Armageddon, Titanicus, Underworlds,Warcry, Warhammer Quest, Warmaster ...... and any other GW system and board game are welcome.>Helpful resources: (feel free to suggest additions!)https://pastebin.com/qq9N8V0V>TQComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97244347It is a condensed/concealed link to the filesharing website gofile.ioThe gf stands for gofile and the rest is the link
>>97244515I thot gf stood for girlfriend.
>>97244367it's only fitting for a 13 y/o to call another 13 y/o a retard. underage fag
>>97244544It's a GW ruleset it is basic as shit. Kids played this crap with even more shit rules back in the 80's
>>97242206You're getting pretty harsh responses and desu I felt like giving you one too.The squealing yearning for low-effort instant gratification is pretty sad. Your nephew should be excited to dig into the rules and lore and to learn how to do miniature modeling. He should have been curled up on a couch reading the rulebook multiple times. Teach him some patience. And have some creativity yourself -- if you had really wanted to play an immediate demo game you could've use tokens, empty bases from the box, etc.Your rage reminds me of a washed-up divorce dad sloptuber (Guerilla Miniatures) who is constantly yammering about games "passing the Christmas morning test" but that's the province of a denuded cuntsoomer bitch who goes through game systems like bags of Doritos, playing them once or twice and then abandoning them to the Shelv'ed Wastes of the basement.For less than the cost of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke, you can buy a loaf of fresh bread and some good cheese or roast beef, which you will enjoy much more.
If elves weren't the pinnacle of all creation than why do they get the privilege of working in Santa's workshop?
>>97236515Dwarves and elves are literally synonyms. So in a sense they are.
>>97227600Elves, failing to be humans, lack souls and thus may never enter into Heaven. While some of these creatures content themselves with their ageless nature, others recognize that even they must one day pass on, and so seek out Saint Nicholas. They then craft presents for good Christian children until the day they die, striving to earn a soul but unable to know until they find either Heaven or oblivion.
>>97236515Maybe they collect the materials to make the toys below the surface, hence we never see them>Can someone explain how tf the captchas work with all the squares with dots in them, I dont get what I'm supposed to be seeing
Traditional games?
>>97227924tolkien knew this btw and bowed to the BIG GNOME lmao
Why the FUCK is his power armor broken? The Badab War was 100 years ago. This dude leads a legion-sized band of space marine pirates and is one of the wealthiest and most powerful space marine lords in the setting, on par with chapter masters of the first founding chapters.WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE NOT HAVE FIXED HIS POWER ARMOR. Does GW even know their own fucking setting anymore?
>>97244034I didn't think of that, you're right. I've always thought, however, that the mehreen power fists and claws are way too bulky to raise like that, they'd get caught on the forearm plate
>>97242133I know he got shot in the face with a multi-melta point blank but I really don't care for that face.
>>97243699>shoulder pad makers when they see space furriers
>>97244028Too animated for something so diseased and dead
>>97244553He's got crabs or some shit in his astartes-pattern pubes.
Who was in the right?
>>97233994Other than vehicles, you can port it 1:1 to 4e with literally zero effort.>>97234185>Le Lal le cuck2016 called. They don't wan you, either.
>>97244412>Lal sits byHe doesn't>and allows bad things to happenSource> for the sake of unity and civilityMore source needed>Diedre is a race traitorWhich explains why her entire faction is about humanity, right?>eco terroristAlso wrong>hippieTripple wrongYou are masturbating to make-belief by election tourists and are a double never-game.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97244444>as if there is some sacred loyalty to one's raceAs much as there is to some alien planet.>someone willing to fight to defend her planet, and with solid and ethical reasons (the death of earth at human hands)She didn't defend her planet, she escaped it and is now defending a whole new planet and willing to destroy everything else. You can shroud your atrocities with all the good intentions you want, they're still atrocities.>as if caring about nature and harmony is evil in any way, shape or form.It is when it becomes a blind ideology divorced from reality.
>>97244512>Retard doubles down on being retardedAt least thanks for making it clear you never played the game, never bothered with a fucking 4 pages of quotes from it nor the 8 pages of lore blurbsStay mad, stay retarded and stay away
>>97244511>>97244521>how dare you not think /mydudes/ are objectively the good guys
Christmas is over, but I still have one more Sonic gamebook to round out the year!ATTENTION MODS - THIS IS NOT A QUEST THREAD, BUT A GAMEBOOK STORYTIMEOkay, now that that's out of the way, let's begin...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC8x7s7o5AM
>a red speckWait... could it be...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXglHbYB1Y4CATCH HIM CATCH MY BOY
>>97244465
There's literally no way for us to win this, so we have to skip to the "we lose" section
>Go after himOR>Y'know what? Fuck that guy.
>>97244489NOOOOO GO AFTER HIM
Is it finally over for scalpers?
/tg/ - Therapy Group
>>97239545Hey retard, most stores don't have memberships and this isn't going to work unless they do.
>>97242741>indiana being flooded with FIBs As an Illinoisan, I apologize
>>97243857Idk about all of thatThe last time I had to do any professional team building was when I worked at a MLM scheme selling residential nat gas distribution to foreigners
>>97244445>most stores blah blah bullshit I made up100% of stores require a membership, some states require us to open the pharmacy to the publict. Management
Should rogue maidens be holy or unholy?
You need more things in your life.
I agree, rogue maidens should come with all flavour combinations of rogues and maidens. From thugs through cat bulgrals to dex-based warrior maidens. That includes holy and unholy.
How about you go talk with your family and have a good time with them?
Guys, I want to talk about HELLPIERCERS. I bought this game a bit ago because I thought it looked cool, and I've read it, and I don't know enough people weird enough to play it with me, and I can't stop thinking about it, and I just have to talk about it with someone.>First up: what the fuck is Hellpiercers? And why do you spell it in all-caps? Do you have autism?HELLPIERCERS is a tactical tabletop RPG developed by SandyPug Games alongside a few people who did some dev work on some of the Lancer supplements. It casts the PCs as gnostic demigod heroes and veterans of the War in Heaven, who aided the forces of humanity in regaining their stolen gnosis and slaying the Demiurge, his Archons, and angelic generals. Having conquered Heaven and liberated the mortal plane from the tyranny of false divinity, they now cast their eyes downward, into Hell, where countless human souls remain enslaved by the demon lords below. Hellpiercers, armed with their god-slaying weapons, clad in armor forged from the corpses of angels, lead a war of liberation against the forces of Hell, to free the enslaved souls of every human who has ever lived.I spell it in all-caps because it's title is rendered in all-caps. I'm pretty sure I'm not autistic, but I've never been tested, so who even fucking knows?
>>97235095Why the hell is Gnosticism so popular?
>>97242679Because it's meaningless. It's a word to prove that you're not like the other girls (male).
>>97242679Gnosticism posits that the secret truth of the universe is that we are trapped in an illusion/simulation/prison, and the deity responsible for this is evil. So by rejecting this twisted reality and fighting against it, you are a heroic rebel. It lets you be iconoclastic, rebellious, but also be the good guy because you're aligned with a greater cosmic good that exists beyond the demiurge. You get to have a punch-up with god, but like, without having to go full fedora about it.Which does kind of boil down to what >>97242687 says, I admit
>>97235095I'm not sure that setting makes sense: gnosticism is still totally monotheistic, just that the demi-urge is larping as the one true god when he's not. Using terms like "god-slayer" is completely antithetical to the beliefs of gnosticism, as the protagonists would inherently reject that the things they killed were gods. It might sound like a nitpick but it's a critical distinction. It's a red flag that there's no reference in the text to there being any sort of actual god in the setting, plus "free the enslaved souls of every human who has ever lived" from hell? Really? Even the rapists and child molesters? Would the devs want Hitler to be "liberated"? The whole thing reeks of an edgy atheist power fantasy.
>>97243533>It might sound like a nitpick but it's a critical distinctionIf a guy calls himself a god and I kill him, I don't care if he was lying; I'm calling myself a godslayer>It's a red flag that there's no reference in the text to there being any sort of actual god in the settingIn the narrative present, it's been, like, five years since humans put the Demiurge to the sword. They might not actually know about the Pleroma. Or it's an excuse plot for tactical demon-slaying. Probably a little of both.>Even the rapists and child molesters? Would the devs want Hitler to be "liberated"?I won't make any argument on the part of the devs, but if someone told me Hitler was a devout servant of the archons who was consumed by his masters in their hour of need, I'd believe it. In a more abstract sense, if someone told me "Only humans are fit to judge humans. Hitler must be judged, but that judgment is neither the responsibility nor to the right of anyone but humans." I wouldn't... disagree with it.
Green-flame Blade
>>97235014>The spell discharges after the first hit.So it's not a case of "whenever you hit a fucker with it", but "once you hit a fucker with it".
>>97234373I think purple would've been better
>>97234392It's good if you're the only gish in the game that can actually fucking gish (Bladesinger).Whoever thought that Eldritch Knight shouldn't be allowed to use Extra Attack with spellcasting ought to be shot twice.
>>97238896Yes. Exactly.
>>97235153Agreed, CotW sucks ass.
>Be me.>Lord General of the Nordican 1225th/ defacto governor of Nordica II.>For the last few years we've been abandoned by the wider Imperium to an ice world that very much resembles our home.>In that time we've constructed the city of New Yur.>A sprawling metropolis surrounded by a network of trenches visible from orbit dug by the kriegers and valhallans.>We've also made more or less peace with the orks we were originally sent here to fight, and even made alliances with the ruinous powers, but those truces only last for one day a year.>A day that is fast approaching.>Candlemass brings peace, but also war to Nordica II every year without fail.>This year however the orks have decided to convert the former colloseum constructed by khorne worshipers in the ruins of a space hulk that crashed here into an arena for a sport they're apparently calling "Blood Bowl.">I will be attending the first of these games on Candlemass day, which is set to pit greenskins against some surviving khorne worshipers they've captured.>Emperor willing this will be the beginning of true peace to our world.>But knowing Candlemass that seams unlikely and I'll be waiting the whole time for some new threat to emerge.
>>97244296>be tiny Tam"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
>>97242600>>97242767>>97243299>>97243550>Be overlord Komei>Having fun teleporting all of Trazyn's stuff down here, watching the chaos that erupts as humans and xenos millenia old realise they're in the middle of a battlefield>Sipping on some of his Old Terran Wine reserve as I do, can't even taste it, but I like the act, makes me seem sophisticated>Get a buzz on my necro-phone>Strange, I haven't used that in several hundred millennia!>Didn't even realise I had it still on me>Pick it up>hello?"Cousin Komei...i need a favor, and if you want a ride off this rock and for me to cover for you when Trazyn comes looking you'll do it...please.">Ohohohohoho>Cousin Sobek is in a pickleComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97244357>But I should save it for when I'm absolutely sure>Snigger to myself>More a last answer, later.>Anyway, got to find the slaaneshis here and drop the motherload on them>Not too hard to find actually, given they're not wearing anything in winter>I heard one of the imperials mention a hive fleet nearby, so I drop a few tyranids on top of the slaaneshis>Try making mindless beasts of hunger horny now, bitches!
>>97243460>>97244257>Be Lord Noctis Carrigen>As I duel more kriegers I take note that some orks have come into the scrap>Bold seeing as they have to fight us who like burning shit>Maybe they have some Burna Boyz with them>Battle of the Arsonists>Also one of their meks has nicked my bike >Mother fucker>Rage harder then Kharn the Betrayer>Only encourages me to go all in>Feel the power of the blood god within>More dead kriegers and now I'm fighting orks>Saber slashes and hand flamer action scorching my enemies to ash>The world burns around us as more and more fire devours the environmentComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97243254I do not know, remember I wasn't the one running Hapless Guardswoman quest and I honestly struggled to keep up with it myself.Last I heard, the quest runner was going to wrap it up, but that was years ago now.Here's the Sup/tg/ archive I found though:https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=Hapless+Guardswoman
The Warhammer 40,000 Map Edition>/40kg/ Community Linkhttps://rentry.org/40k-General>Community Links:https://www.warhammer-community.com/warhammer-40000-downloads/https://www.unitcrunch.comhttps://www.newrecruit.euhttps://wahapedia.ru>3rd Party Models Pastebin:https://pastebin.com/Q33bkBUh (embed) (embed)>Pre 10th Torrent:Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97244568
Are 10 chosen on foot led by a lord a bad idea? Should I get them a transport?
>>97244561i might just pick up one of these that another anon reccomending for writing letters.
>>97244131Fuck off sallyfag.
>>97244162An actually good faction can sell itself without support. 1 box of old crap was all FEC had for most of their existance yet they were so popular and bought GW was forced to not only keep them around after cutting down on meme subfactions but make them a big releas 3 editins after "making" them
Stories, art, don’t care. Post it or don’tWhite human male and orc female pairings are the key to fixing the realm
>>97194172>Their spawn might be the strongestYou mean might NOT be the strongest?
>>97218811modern man yearns for the collapse.
Nothing more wholesome than a questing knight and the she-orc “bodyguard” accompanying him on his adventures.
>>97234343>back it up. I'm sorry, i didn't remember needing to prove my self to the mongrols of Morrowind. If you ever doubt the power of Dagoth-ur (the god) i suggest looking at the ghostfence and realizing that it takes 3 false gods and legions of your ancestor's souls to slow my divine disease down.>why don't i come up there insteadoh my you'll have to forgive me but i am enjoying this.First you threaten me with the insane and the senile Telvanni and then you insist to come here?To this place where destiny is made?Perhaps you should regal me with stories of the vast Telvanni Plantations that need slave labour apparently when you arrive.My initial assessment has not changes.you're Haalu, and half n'wah.I bet your mother was a prostitute wait, that's redundant she was haalu and your father was an argonian. explains why you're so interested in diving dick first into the "black marshes" of the shit-mer
>>97187485I love them man. Green, big, muscular, probably love small men.
On the spectrum of rubber forehead aliens to complete starfish aliens that are made out of silica and breathe methane, where are YOU specificially comfortable with. Does there come a point where an alien becomes too weird for you to "relate" to in order to include them in your games as playable races?Personally I am fond of aliens that look plausibly like they could have evolved in a different world and have no distinguishable lineage to earth life, even if they share some superficial features.
Alien psychology gets brought up a lot, but what does this actually entail? It cant just be some excuse for them to behave randomly. I think rules with Alien moral codes a player using said needs to follow could give some structure to it, even if it is a bit heavy handed. For instance the player getting rewarded for doing certain actions and punished for others, I have no idea what the implementation of that looks like without a clue what system is being used but I don't think it'd be much different from the mechanics paladins or such have. Alien morality paladins can be neat.
>>97243879In the idealized sense roleplaying at least, alien psychology should be some sort of speculative form of their temperament, behavior and ways of thinking etc the alien has, that both matches their background/lore/what sort of animal they evolved from, while also being undestandable to us humans to a degree that we can still sort of emulate that type of mindset, without just being human stuffed in a skinsuit of an ayylmao.
>>97243524It was voted the 7th best Star Trek movie at the 2013 Las Vegas Star Trek convention. As far as I'm concerned, that canonizes it.Since it came out between Insurrection and Nemesis it helps preserve the even good/odd bad thing for Trek movies, too.1. Star Trek: the Slow Motion Picture2. Star Trek II: The Wrath of KHAAAAAAN!3. Star Trek III: The Best Bad One4. Star Trek IV: Whale Thieves of the 23rd Century5. Star Trek V: Wherein God Needs a Starship6. Star Trek VI: The One With the Klingon that Quotes Shakespeare7. Star Trek: The One with Both Captains8. Star Trek: The One with the Borg9. Star Trek: Space Luddites10. Galaxy Quest: The Best Star Trek Movie Never MadeComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>97243586dumb faggot
