>be 20, and gay male>Chat up with a tf2 buddy whos Bi>We meetup months later.>Refused to suck his dick because of no listrine, only made out>Was entirely awkard / weird, never made eye contact with him.>A day later, he told me to look somewhere else because I couldn't talk to people.Was this the worst ever first time in this boards history? I met him off of this frengen.I still haven't found a relationship to this day after a year of this happening
>be me,16 and male>chat up a guy whos from my school, little bit fem but whatever, he just seemed gay>need my mom to help me pick him up>ask her to stop at walgreens cuz I needed lube>we proceed>I had lied to him and said I was straight but wanted to give it a try>take him up to my bedroom and fuck him in a few positions>get interrupted by my grandma yelling my name out>he freaks the hell out asking me if someone else was home and i didnt get what the big deal was>continue fucking him>couldnt cum>took him down to the loft and had him blow me while i watched anime>told me his jaw hurt but I didnt understand what he meant and told him to keep going anyway>never asked for his name>forget how he got home
>>36670321>> get interrupted by my grandma yelling my name outLmao everytimeI hate boomers
is this a good idea?tinder btw
>>36670127yeah i’m just a little retarded
>>36670102It comes off annoying and you type in lowercase, hard pass.
>>36670102Say what you want. I want a boyfriend. I want a husband. I want cuddles. I want sexooo. Whatever. Just be direct.
>>36670102cringe as fuck stop trying to be cool and say what you want
>>36670255That’s what the pictures are for
Love MTF trannies, hate anal. Wat do?
why do people assume the anal or vaginal sex is the only and best kind of sex??? lmao like imagine thinking that like one meal is the only food you can eat and nothing will ever compare.
>>36666147Gross lol
>>36665925Do what my bf did and find a straight MtF with a pussy.
>>36669567Yeah, anal is the worst. No wonder gays are crazy and do so much druggies.
>>36669567This posts makes me suicidal I'll never have a pussy and I'll never have a bf
>well you see, it's chud shit, I fell in love with a trans bitch, she's an autist, she wants to suck on my chud dick
>too old to benefit from blockers>too old for childhood socialization>too young to have saved money/built a career during repper years>just the right age to quietly start hormones, never come out at school, crash out of college and end up an unemployed loserhon who watches everyone around them continue to grow and move oni started younger and have been on hormones longer than ~95% of people i know yet i feel like ive made zero progress, i was cursed with the world's ugliest fucking neanderthal genes and induced pseudo-schizoid tendencies (minus the part that makes you actually like the loneliness lol)i still cant get a job and it feels like my life has completely frozen in place, it's driving me fucking insane and i have very little hope or will to keep living atp. any other midshits know this struggle?
>>36669760>youngshits think i’m a rogd hon>oldshits think i shouldn’t complain since i’m a youngshit to themit’s a lonely road
>>36669760and after everything you drag yourself through to finally come out the other side fully transitioned>neither overly ugly nor attractive
>>36670006not really, i’m from terf island
>>36670118i look at my face and i look at old photos and i start crying, i dont even want ffs at this point, like id take it if it were offered to me but i know it wont fix things the way i want, i dont want it i dont want surgery i want my own face back, i want my own life back. i look in the mirror and it's not just dysphoria, it's something more, it's an alien figure, it isn't mine. i feel like i died when i was 11 or 12 and ive been floating around as a ghost ever since. any sort of "progress" i could make is heavily impeded by the crushing pain of knowing ill never be allowed to have the one thing i actually want
>>36669760>start hormones, never come out at school, crash out of college and end up an unemployed loserhon who watches everyone around them continue to grow and move onliterally me except im a manmoder not a hon
>wake up>remember i'm cis>be happyGod is so good bros
>>36667014I am glad too
>wake up>shit>get out of bed
>>36669491anon nooo
>>36669491>wake up>shit>eat breakfast>get up
>>36666881>i'm cisfor now...
ok so im a binary trans woman and i have dysphoria and all that. but i also wonder how much of the negative feelings would go away after srs. i 100% know i want srs, and my dream is to live as a normal woman. but like in certain ways i think it would be kinda hot to be a guy with a pussy.never gonna take t or anything like that, probs gonna still present female in public, def gonna always consider myself a woman, probs gonna always love dressing feminine and feeling feminine. and def gonna get additional surgeries to feminize my body more. but like. what if im nb or something? i dont think im nb but like. i reject a lot of masculinity because it reminds me of my past, and i still have a physically male body so i feel like i have to be 100% feminine to counter that. and i truly love femininity and being feminine, its amazing. but i wonder how things will change after srs. is it possible i might open up to masculinity a lil bit since my anatomy will no longer be the concern that it is right now? right now im 100% a binary trans woman but i wonder if srs will make me a nb?anyway that sounds super degenerate and i cant believe i typed that. after i get srs im probs just gonna continue being a binary woman and be happy. but i hate to admit that the thought of being a guy with a vagina (and not dysphoric about having one, obv) sounds really hot
as for binders, im on the fence. i love my boobs, and i want to keep them forever. i do have some aesthetic issues with mine, they look kinda bogged so i wanna get a BA at some point in the future. binding sounds like it could be fun whenever i would be larping as a guy, but i dont wanna damage mine. i guess i would try binding if it had no way of fucking up my boobs
there are lots of ftms who want to be mtf but not many mtfs who want to be ftm
>>36670082>ftms who want to be mtfYeah, certainly. Generally they wanna be like Frank N Furter though, more like a transmisogynistic idea of a trans woman as a feminine male third-gender. Very few of them actually want to be a woman with a dick.>mtfs who want to be ftmI have seen this quite a bit actually, it's very common amongst lesbian/queer/dykey trans women. A lot of them are lowkey nonbinary but (often correctly) feel like they can't express that without sacrificing being treated as a woman. So they long for the embodiment of the transmasc dyke, who can be as butch and nonbinary as his heart desires while still fundamentally being accepted as a lesbian and a woman by the queer community. A smaller but still extant contingent longs for the faggotry they left behind when they transitioned, and (correctly) believes getting fucked by daddies is hotter when you're a boy. >>36668179You sound hot. I'm sorry you get more attention pretending to be ftm, it's fucked how pooners really are the most desired demographic in the trans community. Especially since the idea of a camab femboy who's such a hole that he willingly got his dick replaced with a pussy is extremely peak.
>>36670082I'm mtf who wants to be ftm :3
>>36670335>You sound hot. Thanks!>I'm sorry you get more attention pretending to be ftm, it's fucked how pooners really are the most desired demographic in the trans community. Heh idc. My life has been better as ftm femboy than cis femboy. It's nothing but a huge plus for me. I used to feel ashamed because I lied about being AFAB but I don't genuinely care anymore. Why should I feel bad about something that makes my life genuinely better?I literally live on god mode and I'm getting worshipped by people. I don't miss my dick or anything, I like having pussy way more. My SRS results looks great. My body is androgynous due to E (not high doses) and short hair fits me better anyways.I'm planning to get a top surgery soon, them people would literally all people will automatically assume I'm a real ftm.I don't even feel like I'm larping as ftm after this long period of time. I'm simply a AMAB ftm femboy who is pretending to be AFAB ftm femboy for better quality of life and I love every second of it :)
Is sucking cock something inherently unmasculine?
>>36664151Am I pinning you to the wall with your legs resting on my shoulder as you clasp at my hair trying to whimper quietly as I devour your cute cock?Or are you on all fours with a collar around your neck looking up at me as I fuck your throat like the cock-sheath it is?You tell me what's masculine or feminine.
>>36665351This is kind of why I've been distancing myself from femboy/chaser stuff.
>>36664151Yes. It's shameful and submissive. A man should never put his mouth near a cock or vagina. It's disgusting.
>>36665351Guess that makes me a bisexual top with zero attraction to women, femboys, or trannies.
>>36670393>bisexual top with zero attraction to women, femboys, or trannies.Masc fuckers are just ashamed gays who claim to be "bi" because they think that makes them more masculine. LOL.
>MtF>bored>low self esteem>decide to make porn of myself to share and boost confidence>spend an hour doing make up and picking out lingerie, getting camera set up, toys and lube set aside>do the things>watch video after>my foundation looks incredibly yellow compared to my pale skin>cant even see anything else>feel gross>want to die>gonna have to do it all over again after buying new foundation>mfwCan anyone offer any good advice on how you're supposed to do this properly? I didn't have any extra lightning in the room or anything and the one overhead light was NOT flattering. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>36669578Maybe just don't overthink it and also work with someone who has experience directing porn. Most of the quality of porn is going to be determined by the directing and camera work, not the actors. You can make a really shitty porn with perfectly fine actors in it just by filming it badly, or a really high quality porn with terrible actors just by filming it well.If you just want to so minimalist webcam stuff for onlyfans or something though then just accept it'll be low quality and still don't overthink it.
>>36669811Thanks for the food advice anon. Someone out there would probably think it's hot, I just can't get past the foundation mess up.
>>36669811>work with someone who has experience directing pornHave you seen the grooby/femout/etc amateur shoots? Being a director does NOT mean they'll shoot you in a flattering way, learn your own lighting and angles, you will do the best job at creating flattering content of yourself, might take a minute to learn. Industry people just put you in harsh lighting and go for it, their gooners will goon regardless
>mtf>hypersexual>porn addicted>porn producer>self loatherthere really never is anything new under the sun
Lighting is a HUGE part of taking good nudes/porn so you might wanna wait until you can get a better lighting setup for round 2. Most people look really bad filmed with normal overhead lighting like that even if they’re really hot irl it just makes everything look like a weird snuff film or something.
>I'm sexually attracted to the troons
>>36669977you sound like an awful person (as all right-wingers are)
i feel like they just assume i'm a lame cis guy that's probably on the average level of transphobia and i'm just weird and shy and i don't know how to talk to themi want to cuddle with them and push them around with one arm and bite their arms softly like a narcotizing chew toy :x
>>36669977Welcome to this community :3
that makes you GAY
>>36669977
Why do so many trannies play MTG? To the point people are complaining about them?
>>36670327it's just chris-chan complaining about his future self
>>36670271This I've played since middle school. And the one thing that keeps me from playing more than just pre release and occasionally with some friends is that I'm usually the only girl cis or trans at my legs. Except the occasional new girl who comes to try it half the time with a BF and never returns.My LGS is super trans friendly though and has pride stuff up year round which is pretty based.
>>36670327The cishet males that play mtg are really bigoted hateful people. Idk why.They’re also the same type that troon out. They are mad about themselves. Just that awful “I enjoy conflict” antisocial weirdo type
>>36670327This so many neck beards though their are well adjusted people to and lots of people who spend way to much of their income on the game. So yeah no place to judge my life choices.
>>36670390Idk my friends that play MTG and other card games were all super supportive when I came out. I think theirs definitely a divide in the zoomer players vs the millennial and Gen x MtG players though in terms of culture.
QOTT: What are you currently struggling with?QOTT2: Is there anything you're hoping for?I am going homeless in a few days and a temporary place fell through my lap BUT another place messaged me yesterday evening asking to message them soon if it may be still available. It would be only for less than four weeks but better than hostels (which may run out of cheap beds and creeps may harass you).
>>36662900I've luckily gotten into a habit of going to doctors appointments with my gf so she can help me advocate for myself, I'm pretty bad at that by myself haha
>>36662154>What are you currently struggling with?I will never be able to transition and live the life I want. I will forever need to repress and I will die with a name that I have never felt more detached to. It sucks because I have always knew I should be the other gender since I was a child and I had no idea what transgender even means until my late teenage years and still felt dysphoric. I tried once to tell my mom about it, and she threatened to slaughter me.I am stuck in a place where being trans is punishable by death and I have no way of escaping it because my parents hold all my documents and don't let me use my bank account. I can't get a job because to them I am only a future wife and baby maker who needs to prepare. I am naturally masculine and this has caused my mom to try and forcibly take me to laser hair removal and even tried to get me on estrogen. can't leave the house without covering every single part of my hair and body because they are so religious so going outside makes me feel like a living caricature. I just wish I was a man. I wish I could be the man I wanted to be.I have no friends and no life. I am rotting away going to my university and going back home and dealing with getting yelled at every fucking day for not being feminine enough to my parents.The only escape is death. I don't have the tools to do it myself in a way that's certain, so I have nothing but to wait for the day to come where I get into an accident or something.>Is there anything you're hoping for?There is a sweet transgirl I've been talking to online and playing games with who lives far away and she makes me feel loved. She sees me as the man I want to be seen as. I wish she could be happy forever and she will forever be safe. I wish I could be with her. I wish I could hug her and spend my life with her.Sorry for the long vent. I have no one to talk to about this. I rarely express my emotions to anyone.
>>36666540I hope you'll get a plushie soon. It has an added mental benefit making you feel cuter! Continue going on. Stop self doubting and keep rejecting labels. Make your flesh feel comfortable.>>36666667That's very good. I wish I had someone like this to help. :( >>36666795Look into Rainbow Railroad. I hope you end up escaping and can take testosterone. You are a man trapped in a woman's body and you will get out. Never give up. Continue trying. Contact RR today. I believe they will be able to organise a rescue for you.Don't apologise. Keep venting however much you need. We are here for you.If I go missing I'm taking a break I've mentioned here >>36666061I am with you all in spirit, genuinely hoping you find the strength and endurance to push through. Better days await.
>>36662154>q1A neurological disorder making it impossible to work, even a desk job from home. I can't get disability money because I live with my transphobic parents, but if I didn't I'd be homeless while being unable to work and probably unable to fill out the benefits form. I'll probably never be able to afford ffs or srs, and when my parents die I'll be homeless anyway. Also much too ugly to use sex to get somewhere to stay. Even if I were normal and healthy tomorrow, I've never had a real job and am unemployable, in addition to being clocky>q2Mostly that I get hit by a falling airplane and make the news while dying relatively quickly and painlessly
>>36662307Aloe Vera insides + water, in the blender, drink it up daily with a empty stomach (after waking up) This helped me so much with stomach pain, but you should still see a doctor and treat it with medicine
Thread for voice recordings and voice training. Rate others when you post. Suggested reading:In Celebration of Meby Rainer Maria RilkeI am so afraid of people's words.They describe so distinctly everything:And this they call dog and that they call house,here the start and there the end.I worry about their mockery with words,they know everything, what will be, what was;no mountain is still miraculous;and their house and yard lead right up to God.Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>36669743it sounds a little too roboticlike the tone stays the same too much and then drops into male range oddly but not too often I appreciate you reading it with emphasis though
>>36669781ty for feedbackhttps://voca.ro/1csH8dYiyxvQ
https://voca.ro/1hf7d2VMTWEH attempt 2
>>36669876IMO the lisp is not in your way, what is is there is a pitch threshold that your voice is not breaking and it's all you need to pass. Try to hit those high notes.>>36669809This makes sense. Here is another take.https://voca.ro/175sXxhlAAQB
>>36670210i believe it is pronounced blan-card
You people said twinkdeath occurs at 25 if you don't take hrt and your skull morphs into a freaky shape but I'm way past 25 and nothing has happened. except beard growth, which will be taken care of with laser. what's the point of hrt exactly?
>>36668913>>36668812fin is a funny one where the average straight guy thinks it castrates you (pushed by rogan and others), whereas actual trannies generally don't need it unless they have a DHT backdoor pathway but it nevertheless gets prescribed sometimes instead of an actual AA by retard doctors, leaving the main users being vain/image dependent straight men and gays.i wouldn't rely on it reducing body hair unless you already have very little to begin with. oral minox is likely to give you even more + beard growth.there are a lot of older (30s-40s) gay dudes in great shape who do all the skincare, laser, fighting hair loss etc but they still tend toward looking pretty masculine and not dissimilar from straight gym rats except with bigger asses, i really think if it was possible to keep up a twinkish/andro look without changing your hormones you'd see it more often as in theory it's less work in the gym than becoming a muscle daddy.
>>36669909That's an interesting point I guess then the only option for these people is eunuch maxing but that gives osteoporosis. NGL I'm quite glad I'm MtF the medicine seems really rough for twinks and dysphoric NBs in terms of fighting sexual dimorphism to maintain an androgynous appearance.
>>36669909mmm, maybe, I might just be a luckshit who doesn't know what the general populations situation is but at least for me I've not changed much body wise from 16 n my straight friends referred to me trying to diss my masculinity as "the twinkiest twink alive" at 27, but maybe ectomorphs are just uncommon?since you make good points, and admittedly other male body types would struggle a bit more with it
>>36663064you're aging male and will continue to age male. that's all there is to it. if you look at men and are okay with looking like them one day do go ahead. if you're terrified of that happening and would rather look closer a woman in old age them go on estrogen. there isn't a magical age bwcause genetics hit everyone differently. look at your family members specifically for closer intel on how you might look when older.
>>36670184>>mmm, maybe, I might just be a luckshit who doesn't know what the general populations situation is but at least for me I've not changed much body wise from 16 n my straight friends referred to me trying to diss my masculinity as "the twinkiest twink alive" at 27, but maybe ectomorphs are just uncommon?Oh hey, twins, I'm also still twinky at 27I honestly don't see many lithe guys around, I think the phenotype is just rare as fuck, it's the <5% "smallest" type of guysMy friends in their 30s are masculine, but they already were masculine at the end of high schoolTheir bodies didn't change save for some that got either fatter or worked out
how to learn to love yourself?i feel awful sometimes and then good sometimes and then worse againI play online games and its a 50/50 i get called a tranny or they think im a girlhttps://voca.ro/173ONI3AN1kyi wanna die :( i might sound cute but i dont sound like a girl why!? ive tried to train so hard and its never good enough!!! maybe i should just have to deal and accept with being a freakhon FAGGOT UNLOVABLE LOSER!!
>>36669600>how to learn to love yourself?Whoever clings to their life will lose it and whoever gives up their life will gain it. You can’t teach yourself to love yourself. You learn to love yourself by loving others and when you love others you see how much you are loved. Transitioning goals are good and all, and accomplishing them can reduce suffering but it won’t lead to self love. Neither will detrans tho. All of that physical stuff is under love.
